Colonoscopy ... give me good vibes

Mission complete. A bit of stomach discomfort and a bit of gas. Good staff and experience.

Now, food!

 

After shooting stuff out of my ass at a rapid pace for a few hours, I’m quite sure it looked like the Japanese flag.

 

I have the pills for this time. The jug of water I had to drink last time reminded me of an anti-freeze or Bardahl container. The sleep while under sedation was wonderful, though, I can see why Michael Jackson got addicted to that stuff.

 

I've had 3 different doctors do colonoscopies over the years. The prep for each one was different, but the result was the same ... don't get between me and the toilet.

The first time, I had no clue what was going on. Afterwards, I was in the recovery area and as this cute nurse walked in, I farted up a storm. I apologized, but she told me that was normal and was a good thing. I've never had a woman tell me my farts were a good thing either before that or after.

The last one, I laid there on the table and didn't realize I had gone out. I asked the guy when he was going to start. He laughed and said he was almost done.

Fortunately, I'm on a 5-year schedule. I had a co-worker who had colon cancer history in her family, so she got one every 3 years starting in her mid-30s.

 

Just finished mine.

Worst parts were waking up at 3 am to drink a second of those awful drinks, and waiting out a delay at the surgery center.

They found one polyp and sent it off for testing. I come back in five years.

But overall, prep was fine and the procedure was fine. I got food, now off to sleep off this dizziness.

 

Thanks in large part to this thread I made my appointment this morning. Up the butt day is Sept. 17.

 

I thought I would lose some weight. Wrong! Back to my pre-procedure weight in a day or two.

 

Just home from mine. As expected, the prep sucked (pills this time) but the in-house experience was top-notch. Friendly nurses, great anesthesiologist, a doc who kept me informed both before and after, great drugs (I was dreaming about baseball when I woke up), a couple cups of tasty apple juice post-procedure, and I was home within 2.5 hours after checking in.

Plus, all clear. Two very small polyps that the doc wasn't concerned about in the least. And I don't need another one before seven years at least!

So, be informed there's another perfect asshole on SJ.Com.

 

I've got to get my 2nd one. As I understand it, thankfully no more guzzling of what 2 gallons of water 24 hrs beforehand and the ahem consequences thereof.

 

Oh, the pills do more than an adequate job of blowing everything out of your colon. I thought you took 1 or 2 pills the afternoon before, and 1 or 2 about 6-7 hours before.

Oh no, it's 12 pills, both times. It still sucks, just not quite as bad. The person who invents the colonoscopy equivalent of Bounty - "the quicker cleaner-outer!" - will be a gizzionaire.

 

Got the mail yesterday ... he doesn't want to see me for five years. That's good news.

 

Go buy a lottery ticket!