Five people you wish would go away

1. My boss
2. His boss
3. His boss
4. His boss
5. His boss.

 

A poll of the 397 voices in my head was conducted. ( Total votes in parentheses.)

All-League
1. Johnny Knoxville (127)
2. The guy who got the Ghostbusters thrown in jail. (73)
3. Carrot Top (54)
4. Ashton Kutcher (33)
5. The guy from "Saw II" who threw that chick in the syringes. (24)

2nd Team
1. That NBA wannabe groupie from ESPN that wrote "The Sixth Man." (17)
2. Whoever green-lighted "Broken Flowers." (14)
3. Insert Little Leaguer's dad's name here. (11)
4(t). Andy Milonakis (9)
4(t). Wade Boggs (9)

Others receiving votes: Bob Saget (5); Jimmy Fallon (4); anyone from "My Sweet 16" (4); The Governator (3), Me (3); Ric Flair (2); Bam Margera (1); Ja Rule (1); Big Boy on 95.5 FM in Detroit (1); Stat Boy (1); Jean Claude Van Damme (1)

 

1. Jennifer Aniston
2. My sister-in-law (BITCH!)
3. Conrad Burns
4. Not the most current ex, but the one before him
5. Donald Rumsfeld

Honorable Mentions: Brad Pitt, Sean Penn, Toby Keith and Dubya.

 

Roger Clemens
Tom Cruise
Dubya
Isiah Thomas
Jim Dolan

Really, anything after the first three would just be gravy.

 

1. Shania Twain, or at least the dude who sang her song in the Chevy Colorado commercial. Man, I can't stand that woman.
2. Bill Self. And his colon.
3. Ainsley Wellinghoff's mom. And her golf clubs.
4. John Ashcroft, the Antichrist.
5. My ex, my ex, my ex.
Honorable mention: Me.

 

1. Fred Phelps
2. Pat Robertson
3. Fredo Bush
4. Oprah
5. David Glass

 

What he said. Except "Her boss" for No. 4

 

1. Bill O'Reilly
2. JT The Brick
3. Terrell Owens
4. Roger Clemens
5. Rasheed Wallace

Wait a second. No. 5 has already gone away.

 

Shotty shoots, he scores!

 

1. Osama
2. The President of Iran
3. Bill O'Reilly
4.Terrel Owens
5. Imus

Honorable Mentions
Oprah
Tom Cruise
The United States Senate

 

Besides the unelected president (who will prayerfully be going back to Crawford sometime in early 2007):

1. Grover Norquist
2. Michael Savage
3. Bill Simmons
4. Ann Coulter
5. Corey Feldman

 

Saint Kurt
Tupac
Biggie
Jimi
Morrison