Today's tremendous telemarketer call

RING RING.

ME: Hello.

TELEMARKETER DORK: Are your parents home?

(BTW, my voice does NOT sound anything like a little kid's, or a teenager's ??? :. )

ME: No.

TELEMARKETER DORK: When do you expect them back?

ME: No time soon.

TELEMARKETER DORK: Can they call me back?

ME: I doubt it. They're dead.

TELEMARKETER DORK: Uhhh....they're dead?

ME: Yes. Dead. As in deceased, passed on, no longer with us, assumed ambient temperature, yadda yadda.

TELEMARKETER DORK: Well, the reason for my call is to tell you about a great new offer we have for cable TV...

ME: Fine. I'll be sure to tell my parents when they come in.

TELEMARKETER DORK: Would it be better if I called later?

ME: No.

SLAM.

: :

 

PS: Tried to delete, and move to "Anything Goes." While amusing, I doubt this story has much journalistic value. : :

 

i pity anyone who has to make a living as a telemarketer.

 

Pre-caller ID and while in college, I worked for one of the well-known polling companies (not in sales of any kind). Wasn't terribly bad for a part-time job (some people were courteous, some were rude, whatever), but I too pity the poor souls who have to sell shit for a living over the phone.

The spawn of satan Collection agencies, though, I have no pity for.

 

I get a call every day at 4 p.m. from NCO Financial systems, looking for the person who had my phone extension before I did.

Every day. They don't understand that the person doesn't work here anymore.

 

i love fucking with those people. make them sell it good, and then play dumb.

 

The best are the telemarketing calls you get from your own newspaper.

Are you interested in subscribing to the Podunk Press?

Sir, I work one floor above where you're sitting right now.


Before I got rid of my home phone a few years ago, I got two calls a day from people looking for the person who had the number before me. That dude must have owed people a lot of money.

 

I love doing Jerk Boys for them.
Saul Rosenbeg is a personal favorite to piss them off.

 

"Oh, my word. I lost my shoes and my glasses."

 

For our first nine months in Florida, my wife received about five calls per week between midnight and 5 a.m. from someone in another city who, I assumed, was looking to score some crack. I told her at least 20 times that she had the wrong number. It was a woman, and she was absolutely out of it. She kept asking for some guy with a name like Big Al or Little Mac or some shit.

After a few months, I told her that I was going to report her to the police if she called again. The calls stopped for weeks, but we still received an occasional call for several more months.

 

I used to get phone calls from Arrow Financial Services every other day on my cell phone. And I REPEATEDLY told them this person is not a part of this cell phone number.

I even talked to a supervisor (instead of the peons). They insisted that my number was off their list for this person, YET I continued to get calls.

The calls finally stopped when I said the next call I would make, wasn't going to be to them, but to a lawyer for them to cease and desist. Haven't got a call since.

 

We had that happen one night only we found out that they outsourced the new subscriber calls to a company in Florida instead of our East Podunk midwestern office. After about four calls we finally found out where they were but for the next 10 minutes it was just a constant ringing that we ignored as the list worked through the extensions.