Worst lede ever

You have two to rival it?!

 

Over a three-week period our main prep guy turned in seven variations of this: "Pissant High is on a roll right now, but even against lowly Batshit Prep isn't taking anything for granted." Seven Effing Times. Three on the same day.

As for me, I pulled "For Arizona State, the times they are a changin'" when I was in college. The memory still hurts. You gotta get that shit outta your system.

 

Oh yeah. That one was from the last stop. The other two are from this stop. Not quite as rough as that one, but the other two had the whole sports department roaring ... both in the middle of Friday Night insanity. The one is often cited even four years later.

 

I've come across a few too many Wizard of Oz ledes.

"There's no place like home."
That's probably how Coach Birdelflickel felt after the Bullets won at home Saturday following a three-game losing streak on the road.

That's just an example. I've had a full story with ruby-red slippers, twisters and the like.

 

Gotta love the guys who take the cliches the distance.

I had a guy one time who constantly played on nicknames ... "The Knights stuck their sword into the hearts of the Beavers." ... seemed to think that playing of Trojans and Spartans with Troy and Sparta references was the height of clever. It wasn't once a month or a year ... it was almost every story.

 

Second best word he could've used.

 

We've all read the book. You don't have to talk about the Friday Night Lights in ever fucking high school football story you write, son.

 

a lede on a college football season preview...

"DATELINE -- The foliage around Blank County CC is so beautiful this time of year, it would have prompted Vincent van Gogh to cut off his other ear."

You know what the weird part is? That lede never saw the light of day in print ... and I still remember it 20 years later. Maybe it wasn't so bad, after all.

 

I'll take "swords" for $1,000, Alex.

 

From December, 1998 (if memory serves):

"Just when the San Francisco 49ers' season was coming together, Bryant Young's leg came apart."

 

Ahh shit, so I am supposed to be perfect on a message board? Thanks. I am a better writer for your coaching.

 

Am I a terrible person for finding that lede halfway useable?