Worst lede ever

It wasn't in a lede, but a stringer recently referred to a "true freshman" in high school.

 

Was that Harry Missildine?

 

Doesn't compare to the gems on this thread, but here's the worst I ever saw... courtesy of my former boss, who thought he was God's gift to sportswriting.

He was writing some analysis piece about how Big State U was so successful in one- or two-run games.

"Close has led to frequent cigars for the State U baseball team."

 

Back when I was a young and impressionable intern, trying to learn how to write, I was working on a feature about athletes and rape (you know, for the kids), and I was struggling to come up with a lede that was both snappy and solemn.

We had a writing coach to take care of us, so I leaned on him here. He read my story, nodded, thoughtfully rubbed his chin, jumped his chair closer to the desk, and wiggled his fingers in the air, like a master pianist about to bust into his concerto.

"Say it ain't so, Joe," he wrote.

Never leaned on him much after that.

 

You don't think he captured the spirit of the thing?

 

So, here's a lead that never fails to make me shake my head every time I see it. And I see it used a lot.

"Alexandre Kapran died doing what he loved."

That's from today's Toronto Sun, and it's from a story about a guy who drowned while on a fishing trip.

The point was that the guy loved the outdoors, but all I can picture is the guy thrashing around in the water, gasping for air, accidentally gulping down sludgy water, and thinking to himself, "fuck, I just love doing this!"

 

It wasn't Harry Missildine, but yeah, it does sound a little like him.
Let us not forget, for all his foibles, Harry gave the world The Big Sky Conference and he named Dee Andros The Great Pumpkin

 

God bless The Missil. Went to his funeral earlier this year. That guy lived the hell out of his life. Gotta admire him for that.

 

Very good stuff. I'm still laughing my ass off.

 

"It was a homecoming of sorts for ..."

 

That one damn near made me piss my pants. I think what's funny isn't the awesomely bad metaphor, but the fact that he felt the need to qualify it.

 

I was coordinating prep coverage about 25 years ago in Baltimore, and one of our interns was assigned to do a piece on a high school track star. The young scribe apparently wanted to convey the spledid athlete's devotion to training.

The lede, and I do not jest:

"(Jane Doe) does not drink, smoke, take drugs or have premarital sex, except on special occasions."

I'll never forget that baby as long as I live.