Need to vent, some prayers please

Nicely done, Jones.

Beef, I have little more to add except to say my thoughts are with you and your uncle.

 

Thought I would update, although my information is second hand from over the phone from two people saying different things.
But what I have figured out for sure is that my uncle will recover, should be a near complete recovery although there is still a good chance of some long term damage. Regardless he has a long road ahead of him. Because he and my aunt (I'm finding it very difficlt to call her that) are not legally divorced, however, she is still calling all the shots in regards to his treatment and pulling major powertrips and just being an overall complete bitch. Details leaking out from his fire department buddies is painting an even worse picture of her and the way she treated him than we originally thought, and our thoughts of her originally were pretty bad to begin with.
There will be a special place in hell for her.

Thanks again for all of the prayers and support. It's great to be able to turn to a community such as this.

 

This recently happened to a woman I know. Happened to come across hubby's e-mail account and - well lookee here - there's five separate women who are professing love and lust for the guy. Five.

Adding insult to injury, her husband just shrugged when confronted, got a nice fat raise at work, moved into a bachelor pad and has commenced with balling skanks he's met online. In fact, it looks as if he'll be landing another notch on the belt this weekend.

Oh yeah...guy's wife was trying to work her way through nursing school while trying to raise a daughter with special medical needs.

I also hope there's a spot in hell for this guy. But just in case, he has something else waiting for him. In the meantime, all I can think about is this little girl who almost died of a childhood disease and now has to learn that her dad is a self-serving sick bastard. I'll be honest, it wouldn't break my heart if, once the boozing and banging finally ends, this guy wakes up to see who he is, finds a good sturdy handgun, and puts it to good use. It's not like his daughter had a real father anyway.

It absolutely blows my mind that people can be so cruel to others in the name of their own appetites. It's one thing when you're young, single and on the prowl. But marriage, and then fatherhood...that's the official signal that the world no longer revolves around you.

I grew up more or less without a mom, and every day I feel like I hit the lottery because I had a dad who dug in and made sure I had all the things I needed. My only regret is that I haven't succeeded in this business yet, so I can't yet make him proud of all he's done for me. But I wouldn't be here without him...no question. And how anyone, a mother or father, can pass up that kind of responsibility and embrace poor lifestyle choices absolutely floors me.

Clearly, I'm rambling, and I apologize. Your uncle's story just touched me, I guess. I hope to hell he comes out of this with the courage to face down the kind of undeserving treatment he incurred. Moreover, I'll be thinking about that son of theirs. A lot.

As for the job thing...your call. As a philosopher once said, our job is to find out what part we play, and to play it well. My own $0.02 is that it's not the job you do that makes a difference, but the person you are. And you can be a difference maker whether you're a newspaperman, cop, firefighter or falafel vendor. Yes, it sounds trite. But it works for me.

 

Beef --
Needless to say, I'm praying and all.
But have you, or any of your siblings, thought about the possibility of getting a guardianship of your uncle and, through it, the kid? At the very least, it might force the Young Lady to let go of him, and it might even give her pause about laying legal siege if she has to fight on a couple of fronts. No idea on the law on this, but it would seem to me that, if your uncle tried to kill himself, you could argue a) that he can't take care of himself at the moment, and b) that his wife doesn;t have his best interests at heart.

 

Beef,

Fenian is thinking here. This is an issue that should be looked at carefully. It is possible a judge will see what's going on and decide that a woman he was in the process of divorcing may not have his best interests at heart...and his family would.

Great call FB.

 

Spent a lot of time with progressive disease in my family.
You get to appreciate guardianships.

 

Beef:

I'm sending a prayer for your uncle. Firefighters are about at the top of the pile in my book and no one, least of all a guy putting his life on the line to make a living for his family, deserves this kind of shit.

Kaylee: As a dad, I can tell you that you've probably already made yours as proud of you as he can be. I doubt how far my kids go in business will affect my pride in them much at all. It's the other stuff that matters.

 

Beef,

I was really moved by both your story and some of the posts in response. Best wishes to you and your family.

I feel like I can't give any meaningful life advice after reading what has already been said by much wiser folks. But, for what it's worth, since I felt lucky enough to even go to college (none of my friends have graduated, most are JC dropouts), I felt this innate need to do something more meaningful with my life, even if I had aspired to be a newspaper hack my entire life.

Now that I'm in the business, I have to continually remind myself that even if my work seems mundane, I try to put myself in the shoes of the high school dudes I mostly cover. For a lot of these kids, their high school athletic careers may be the pinnacle of their young lives. About 4 years ago, a buddy and I were featured on the cover of the Metro section of the Sacramento Bee for a feature about kids giving high school graduation speeches. To the reporter, it was probably a ho-hum assignment compared to the Bee's normal metro coverage. But to us, our friends, our families it brought so much joy. My parents have it framed somewhere around their place. So whenever I profile johnny quarterback at podunk high, it always feels like just another day at the office. To them, they are ecstatic. Their faces light up when I show up at practice and tell them I'm doing a feature for whatever day. It helps me sleep better knowing that I've made some kid and his family stoked for a few days, or longer in some cases. So if it's any solace, just remind yourself that what you're doing is usually making someone out there happy. It's not saving lives, but you are still putting smiles on a lot of faces. That's more than a lot of working types can say. I apologize for the redundancy, like I said, your story was moving.

Again, best of luck.

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