Another columnist who can't write

jaques was an excellent reporter as a beat writer. never seemed to me to be columnist materia, but everyone deserves a chance to grow. we shall see. 8) 8) 8)

 

Seems like a very minor issue to complain about.

 

Dude, your issue is petty.

As others have mentioned, the best writers in the business slip.

Go smoke a joint, and relax a while.

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As for learning "lay" and "lie," this might help a few people. Think about bedroom sex.

LAY down on the bed (action). Bump uglies for a few minutes. Then LIE (passive) there and enjoy the post coital sensations.

Present tense: "Dude, I'm getting laid right now. Call back in 15 minutes. I'll be lying around then."

Past tense: "Dude, I got laid yesterday; it was a good three minutes. Then I lay in bed resting for three hours." (This one is tricky because of the word, but the past tense of LIE is LAY."

Present participle: "Dude, I'm bummin'. I was LAYING this hottie, and I just got too excited too soon. She got pissed, bitched me out and left me LYING there wondering who she was going to tell.

Past participle: "Dude, after I had LAID her in front of the fire place, she looked like she had LAIN in the sun all day because her back was burnt. Maybe we were too close to the fire."

 

greatness...slide motherfucking in here somewhere and you got something.

 

Post of the year.

If I had grammar teachers like you, I'd never make a mistake.

 

Yes, yes, to fault a column for a single usage problem is petty, and, yes, we all make mistakes. But Taylor's lie-lay error is only indicative of a larger problem: The guy can't write. For years the DMN assumed its desk was so strong it could take anybody's drivel and transform it into a column. But after the layoffs and the buyouts, that doesn't work anymore; the desk isn't what it was. Now the DMN needs writers, and it has few.
As for the rude-crude Gandhi, who said Taylor's column is a "breath of fresh air," now I know why you like it. Your writing and thinking are as trite as his. You two are like those cute little girls who would run up to the English teacher and say: "I can write, I can write, really I can. I have all these great ideas. I just can't get them down on paper."
Bullshit. If the idea can't be put down on paper, can't be articulated, it's not a great idea: It's a foggy notion. Crude-Rude and Taylor have plenty of foggy notions. But, Crude-Rude, you like the column because it's -- what did you say -- thoughtful, profound, provocative, what? What did you find especially thoughtful and provocative? Maybe this gem: "Everybody wants to love and be loved."
Now, that's provocative indeed. Deep, as the cute little college girls might say. I hope everybody wrote that down. Remind me to bring a notebook the next time I read Taylor -- or try to read him, because, in truth, I don't expect to get too far. Taylor's probably a good reporter, although I'm told he's better at high-fives than breaking stories, but he's no writer. Still, he might become a decent columnist if this nasty, mean side, so admired by Crude-Rude, emerges and he stops trying to be Mr. Thoughtfully Sensitive.
But I return to my original question. We work for newspapers; we're in the communication business. Shouldn't words matter? Shouldn't writing matter? And is it too much to expect that a columnist be capable of writing a good sentence?

 

Yes, this column has everything. Half-ass psychobabble (gee, no one has ever thought to do THAT with Owens), would-be pearls of conventional wisdom couched in vague (unsupported) generalities, colorless prose. Baby is not exactly eating like a man after reading this. It is ideal for Dallas in many ways.

 

My question is ... where was the copy editor to fix the lay/lie?
Mitch Albom has trouble spelling ... doesn't stop him from being an excellent writer (thanks to editors).

 

Blushing: You are an amazing writer. Truly, you are. Pulizter worthy. No, I mean it. By the way, list the number of stories and jobs Mr. Taylor beat you out on. I know it has happened because that is the only thing that would explain your anonymous, pedantic rant. Keep the list as short as possible.

 

My fourth-grade nun will be suing you for plagiarism.

 

Hypo: So any criticism you don't like you dismiss as personal animosity? That's rather childish, don't you think? Why do you have to make it personal? Is it because you're self-absorbed and you assume everyone else is, too? As for my relationship with Taylor, I have none. He has beaten me on no stories; nor have I beaten him. I can recall only twice that we covered or attended the same events. I have spoken to him, but don't know him. And I certainly don't have any reason to dislike him. I do dislike the DMN, I admit, for the problems and unhappiness it has caused many people. But I doubt that I'm alone in that.
No, this isn't personal. It's not even so much about Taylor. The question remains: Is it too much to ask that a columnist be capable of writing a good sentence? Or is being a columnist no longer about writing? Are newspapers no longer about writing? Perhaps those are questions for Hypo to ponder.

 

Oh yeah....no doubt.