Alcoholic Wife. The breaking point.

Exactly. I often tell my wife I wish we had met before all of my tribulations, because I was a much better person before putting myself through the ringer. It makes me mad that other women got to see that person and she doesn't.

But that person is gone. It's on me, not her, to move forward and be the best I can be now.

 

beware of a person on their way to rock bottom. it can be surprising how low that bottom can be.

 

Sorrow and prayers here.

In-patient, 30 days would be preferable.

Every drink from hereon is a relapse.

Clean out the house of it. Look everywhere imaginable.

 

Every second of every minute of every hour of every day of every week of every month of every year ...

The craving never goes away, and it never will, so you have to decide if you want to stay with someone who faces that battle for the rest of their life.

Make that decision for yourself (and your kids) first and I think you'll see that other decisions will start to fall into place.

 

I'm sorry to hear about it ex.

 

As was mentioned, you cannot force any individual to help themself. Best of luck to you, ex.

 

I will repeat what others have said - until your wife is ready to admit there is a problem and ask for help there isn't much you can do except take care of you and your kids. When she IS ready (if that day comes) there are a lot of options but detox will be the first step to prevent DTs, alcoholic seizures, etc. There are many options out there (and I'm going to go out on a limb here since some people here know my real life identity) Alcoholics Anonymous works for some people, including me. I have met people who prayed to die every night because they were helpless to put the bottle down no matter how it was destroying them who have sobered up and led happy, craving-free lives for years. I add this just to say that there is an element of hope but it's all on your wife to make it happen.

Protect yourself and your children first no matter what. And I'm wishing nothing but the best for you.

Edited to add: I am a much better and happier person for having gone through AA. It helped me deal with many of the reasons I drank and I am more at peace with myself than at any time in my life.

 

I tell my wife the exact opposite, she would not have liked the old, hell-raising, hard-drinking me. Few people did.

 

I didn't even after those times.

Best of luck ex...do first what has to be done for yourself and especially the kidlets.

 

I wish I had something constructive to add, but I really don't. All I can say is, sorry you're having to deal with this, hang in there and good luck.

 

Hey all --

Thank you -- really, THANK YOU -- for your concerns here and your options.

One element that I'm only discovering now is that I do have to take care of myself and the teens soon. For much of this, I've been blamed for the reason that she's drinking and, really, I'm not. I did enable it, yes, hoping it would just go away or that she would hit her definite rock bottom.

I've been reading about the DT on the withdrawal and that scares the tar out of me.

As I have my pic as Ace Rothstein of Casino, I swear, Sunday night felt like Ace and Ginger (Sharon Stone) when she comes back in the house with the cops. It felt like it... just a much smaller house.

She's pretty erratic right now. I'll get a sweet note in the morning when I'm at work and then she'll treat me like shit for the rest of the day. This whole deal makes no sense.

 

My brother-in-law married his his ex-wife even though he knew what he was getting into, because he thought he could "save" her from her alcoholism, heavy smoking and occasional drug use. He soon came to realize that she could not be "saved" until she wanted it to happen. In her case, it took a near-fatal car accident involving her and her teenage daughter (a brilliant student despite the family turmoil, the daughter recently earned her law degree). The ex turned herself around, has a good job and now has been alcohol-, tobacco- and drug-free for 10 years, although the marriage didn't last.

I join others in praying for you and wishing nothing but the best for you and your children.