And you thought your co-workers are bad

Colorado - A Florida man is left behind by his co-workers on a hike during a corporate retreat. He got lost and had to be rescued after spending the night in a storm with temps in the 30s.

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/08/29/us/colorado-hiker-found-corporate-retreat.html

Arizona - A woman clocks into her job at Wells Fargo on Friday morning and dies in her cubicle. Co-workers complain on Monday about a bad smell in the office. Her body isn't found until Tuesday.

https://www.12news.com/article/news...tempe/75-1329570f-3b63-4869-b4bd-7d45801a80f2

 

Immediately written up for staying clocked in over the weekend.

 

"Unless overtime was approved in advance, you died on your own time. No exceptions."

 

"Hey, I know you're dead, but we're going to need you to come in over the weekend and work on a few things."

 

The funeral will need to be here, as you have already exceeded your allotment of work from home days.

 

File a union grievance if you want.

 

Someone probably already claimed their red stapler.

 

Building services initially dismissed odor complaints as “A case of the Mondays.”

 

Who knew Wells Fargo had a dead line?

 

"You want us to pay for the rescue? You're the one who stayed out in the woods when everyone else got back in time for yoga and chardonnay."

 

I don’t have many goals or ambitions anymore, but one of them is not to spend my last moments in an abandoned newsroom on Sunday laying out pages.

Especially this Sunday — no one would find my rotting corpse until Tuesday.

Other than the newsroom rodents, of course.

 

I remember delivering pizza in the Blizzard of ‘96 when the whole city of Philadelphia ended up being shut down in the middle of our dinner shift.

I left on a delivery and my car didn’t even make it out of the parking lot. I walked back to the store and the boss decided to close. But, at that point, the trains had stopped and the roads had been closed, so a bunch of us decided to have a slumber party in the restaurant.

It was one of the funnest nights of my life. Like the fall of Sodom and Gomorrah.