Christmas-themed Columns

This is why you should never write one. Absolutely horrifying.

Stringer's The Night Before Christmas

 

Some genius editorial writer, a class all sportswriters hold in disdain, wrote "Yes, Virginia There Is a Santa Claus" and ever since others have tried and failed to come close to a flash of genius. Never, never write a holiday column. Never, ever.

 

Anyone who does should get a lump of coal in their stocking.

 

Couldn't even make it past the second screen. Ouch.

 

You had me at "Northwest Florida Daily News"

 

Once had a boss write an ode to March Madness, based on It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year.

Shoot me.

 

I'm kicking myself for even attempting to read that ... Stumbled my way through the first graf ... or stanza, or whatever that was. Not to poke fun on Christmas, but the author's last name is appropriate

 

If you don't match the original's meter line for line, it's especially horrible.

And this guy did the worst case of matching meter that I've ever seen.

 

I tried reading it. I was never so happy to see a pop-up ad cover the text.

 

I read the whole thing, battling my way through the last 15-16 'graphs while contemplating suicide several times. It was like a bad car accident, I kept slowing down and couldn't look away, until I finally got past it. Absolutely one of the worst columns I've ever read.

 

I liked the attempt until the name-dropping started. Then it was painful.

But I also have been worn down by a flurry (get it?) of bad "wish lists" here recently. Anything that's not that is a blessing.

 

Not sure who the sports editor is up there, but he/she is not doing a good job of teaching his/her young writers.

We've talked about this paper before in this forum:
Sunday Morning QB: Dear readers, we do not hate (or like) your team