Church for Non-Believers

I fear that this will seem like a troll but I ask the question honestly.

My girlfriend and I walked past the big church in town last night (it's a United Church) and she mentioned how she might like to go to a Sunday service. I've been mulling the idea since.

I would say that I'm a fairly spiritual person, in the sense that I believe we have souls that need to be cared for, and that the sins we commit against each other leave psychic burn marks in them. I like the idea of going to a church as a place of peace and quiet meditation and reflection. But neither my girlfriend nor I believe in a supernatural God.

My dad was a Baptist minister but something happened before I was born and he fell out of organized religion. He says he still believes but he won't talk about it much beyond that. We were raised in a completely godless house, and I have never been to a service of any kind unless you count weddings and funerals. I have no idea what a service is like except from what I've seen in movies.

Is it wrong to go to a church for service if you don't believe? I checked the Web site for the local church, and it said they welcome all. I just wasn't sure how the people here who are religious and do worship might feel about having an atheist in their midsts, albeit one who tries to live a good life. Obviously I'm not going to stand up and announce my feelings in church. I'm just not sure whether my presence itself would represent some kind of spiritual violation.

 

I’m a lapsed Catholic and very distrustful of organized Christianity at the moment. But my wife asked me to go to church with her because she’s already a member of the choir.

It’s OK. It’s a very progressive, LGBTQ-friendly United Methodist branch. The pastor and his wife are very nice and younger than us. I’m not getting a ton out of it spiritually, but it’s important to my wife, so I’ll continue to do it for her.

Didn’t really enjoy getting up at 5 yesterday for the sunrise Easter service, tho.

Edit: Just realized I didn’t explicitly answer your question. No, it is not wrong. You’re not there out of malice. Like me, you don’t have to get Jesus out of it for it to be beneficial.

 

The United Church would genuinely welcome you whatever you believe. I've worked for the United Church of Canada as a musician for over 25 years and I don't consider myself a Christian.

 

I don’t hold myself out as any kind of spiritual or religious expert, but any Protestant church worth it’s salt - and I restrict my answer to those denominations because that’s what I grew up attending - is always looking for new members. Furthermore, they know it’s not a decision to be made lightly. You will not piss anyone off by attending, nor will you cause some spiritual issue. I do think you will do better, and probably feel better about your attendance, if you listen with an open mind.

Lots of believers were nonbelievers once. Everyone starts somewhere. I say that not to imply that you should attend with the idea of joining, but to indicate the attitude you’ll encounter.

 

My opinion is that any church that doesn't welcome someone who doesn't know what they believe or don't isn't a church at all. Now if someone went in there causing a disturbance, they shouldn't be welcome. But if someone comes in and says something along the lines of, "Hey, I'm new. I'd like to listen to what you have to say and find out what I believe/listen to the message" ... that's sort of the point.

 

If you're curious, go and ask questions. It's hard to imagine a mainstream church these days being anything other than delighted to have new faces coming through the door, and it's not as though you'll be asked to sign a loyalty oath. (But if they do ask, RUN.) If you're wrong for going, you'll be far from alone in being wrong -- there are many questioners and non-believers in the pews, and some even in the pulpits.

As you're doing this, you might also want to ask yourself what it is you're seeking. Is it "a place of peace and quiet meditation and reflection"? Connection with the divine? A sense of community? Being able to put your finger on what you're after will help you figure out whether this church -- or any church -- is the best place to find it.

 

Sure, go. I like your meditative and reflective stance.

At the very least, it absolutely can be a pause that refreshes you.

I’d encourage you to explore eastern religions and philosophy in general too.

And if there is any one book that might really help in your explorations, I highly recommend Robert Pirsig’s Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance.

 

Finding the right church might be like finding the right people to play golf with or basketball with or whatever sport you play. You find your level of what you want and like. Some might be way too serious for your tastes, but that church is great for others. Some might be way too lose for you and it seems like nothing but fucking around. Others might like fucking around, and that's cool.

Chances you are you will meet nice people who are on the same level of religion as you. I go to church with my wife and daughter. I don't believe in a Christian God, but I believe there is something that oversees all of us. We just didn't get DNA and the oceans from blind fucking luck.

Just don't go to church in a high school. Pet peeve of mine. There are so many awesome churches out there that need people in their seats, but the people with 500 at the high school cannot seem to find the money to actually build a building and suck of the taxpayer teet. Mini-rant there.

 

I think the best way to approach church is use it in however you choose. Too often organized religion is "top down" - instead take from it what you need, use the structure to benefit yourself. If the church is asking more of you than it is giving you, it's not the right place for you.

PS - I always thought a "church club" where you go with a group of people to a new place of worship each week and discuss it afterwards over breakfast or lunch would be fun and interesting. I find myself googling new words, concepts and things about the Bible each week that I've always wanted to clarify.

 

Yeah, I don’t think “cheesemakers” is in the Bible.

 

I would consider going to a place where people meditate. At least for a try.