Dealing with divorce

And remember, you are only hearing one side of this. Dad may have a whole different perspective.

 

Without question Dad has a different perspective.

Good luck

 

Rachel Hunter is 46 and appears to still have a lot of thread on the tires. There is life after divorce.

 

I just put this on the song lyrics thread as soon as I saw what BD77 was saying. Hope it helps (and for once, guys, no Rush jokes ... this is about BD77, not Rush bashing).

Rush
"Everyday Glory"
"Counterparts"
1994
-----
In the house where nobody laughs
And nobody sleeps
In the house where love lies dying
And the shadows creep
A little girl hides shaking
With her hands on her ears
Pushing back the tears
'Til the pain disappears

Mama says some ugly words
Daddy pounds the wall
They can fight about their little girl later
Right now they don't care at all

No matter what they say...
No matter what they say...
No matter what they say...
No matter what they say...

Everyday people
Everyday shame
Everyday promise shot down in flames
Everyday sunrise
Another everyday story
Rise from the ashes and blaze
In everyday glory

In the city where nobody smiles
And nobody dreams
In the city where desperation
Drives the bored to extremes
Just one spark of decency
Against a starless night
One glow of hope and dignity
A child can follow the light

No matter what they say...
No matter what they say...
No matter what they say...
No matter what they say...

Everyday people
Everyday shame
Everyday promise shot down in flames
Everyday sunrise
Another everyday story
Rise from the ashes and blaze
In everyday glory

If the future's looking dark
We're the ones who have to shine
If there's no one in control
We're the ones who draw the line
Though we live in trying times
We're the ones who have to try
Though we know that time has wings
We're the ones who have to fly...

 

She appears to be lacking quite a bit of thread on her "tires," Boomer. I agree, she may still have quite a bit of tread, though.

 

My condolences, BD.

Fortunately, my folks are still together, though I think my dad is driving my mom nuts with various post-retirement issues. But my wife's parents divorced in 1998, shortly after their 25th anniversary. I'll never forget the phone ringing at 6 am and my wife crying. I thought someone was dead. "My dad wants a divorce," she said thru the tears. As bizarre as it sounds, that shocked me even more than news of someone dying. I mean, fuck, you can steel yourself (though not prepare) for news that someone is dead. But a divorce? After 25 years of marriage?

Though they are obviously not my parents, I'd grown close to both my in-laws while my wife and I were dating. To this day, I believe my father-in-law just wanted out and had nobody on the side. Only he knows, but my mother-in-law was, how shall I put this, quite a hands-on spouse and he'd have to be Superman to pull off cheating under her watch.

I think they both wish they'd tried harder to work thru things. My mother-in-law lives alone and pretty much has nothing going on in her life except doting on her elderly mom. My father-in-law met up with another woman a few months later and lives with her, but we can tell he's unhappy. Maybe things would have been OK with counseling. But my father-in-law correctly recognizes therapy would have done no good because my mother-in-law thinks she's right about everything. And once my father-in-law suggested divorce my mother-in-law went far beyond the point of no return by tearing up the wedding dress my wife was supposed to wear at her wedding, dumping wedding photos, etc.

The worst part, of course, is how it's affected my wife. It really, really messed her up. The timing of it (a year or so after she graduated college) made it pretty obvious her dad was sticking around only for her sake. Once she graduated and moved in with me, he had nothing holding him there. His current girlfriend lives with her daughter, who is a few years older than us, and we recognize that he views his girlfriend's daughter as my wife's replacement.

And the odd thing is my wife now has a better relationship with her mom than her dad. It used to be vice versa. But mom has really relied on her thru all this while her dad has, for much of the time, been unresponsive to and uncommunicative with us. When we see him, he's great. But he's pretty elusive and my wife's the one who has to make the first step. I can't tell you how many times she's written him teary-eyed letters asking him what she'd done to deserve such shoddy treatment. As much as it pisses me off to see him make her cry, I think he's harboring guilt over how things ended and recognizes he left his wife for someone who makes him even less happy, so he's ashamed to see us because it reminds him of the choice he made.

It's pretty screwed up and I hope things work out for you, BD. I remember when I told my parents about my wife's parents divorcing. The first thing I said after I told them the news was "Tell me you guys will never get divorced." My parents have always been the one sure thing in my life. I'm not sure I'd be able to deal with them separating.

 

Rachel seems to have rebounded nicely from her divorce. I do like her choice of threads too. She has great wheels to go with those tires

 

Perhaps she has taken the idea of rebounding too seriously...are those breasts or basketballs??

Sorry BD77, no disrespect to your thread.

 

I meant no disrespect either. I was just using Rachel to illustrate idea that life is not over at 46. The prevailing current of thread seemed to be heading the other direction.

 

yes, because as we all know, if you find yourself single at 46, there will be a SI covermodel out there just waiting to be asked on a date.

 

Doesn't have to be a supermodel. There are plenty of magnificent men and women in the 40s and 50s and 60's and 70s, etc.

I hope that if BD's dad was so unhappy, maybe mom was too...I hope she finds the right person for herself. Everyone deserves the chance to be happy and find real love.

 

The pickings are slim in Utah because all you greedy bastards take 3 or 4 wives.  The East coast does not have that problem.