Dear dimwit on the phone

Was it something like this?

 

Dear ma'am:
Thank you for your phone call. I disagree with your opinion that we "have to" cover a series of billiards tournaments taking place at the local casino. In fact, the opposite is true. We do not have to cover those tournaments, nor will we.

 

MM, I'm not saying you're wrong in the billiards deal, but you don't cover those, you don't like bowling scores -- I hope you don't work for a little paper in a small town.

 

I bet Little League and AAU coaches hate MM. LOL

 

Yeah, that actually sounds like something that would be fun to cover. You could get good art and it would make for an interesting front-page feature.

 

Add me to the chorus, with the caveat that I think billiards is something that the news department could also handle if they so desired.

 

Dear Local Radio Host,

I was puzzled by your on-air claim today that "There isn't anybody more committed to high school sports than" your station.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but hasn't the other radio station in town called games in twice as many sports as your station this winter? Furthermore, hasn't the local paper covered games in ... well, all of them?

How about you stick to what you do best — giving the Fellowship of the Miserable an outlet to vent in public about everything those pesky dagnabbit politicians and young people are doing?

 

But that doesn't fit well on the marquee

 

Dear Local Congressman PR flack guy,

Yes, I understand that Local Congressman is coming to our area tomorrow. That's f**king fantastic. But there's no need to send me a press release telling me that's he's coming to our area EVERY SINGLE DAY for an entire week.

In fact, here's a tip. If you send me a press release for an event more than twice, period, it's getting deleted. Not looked at, mind you, and the event not attended. Deleted. Plain and simple.

Oh, and for all the rest of you PR flackies, here's another tip. If you are so careless in your efforts that you have to send me a REVISED press release because you screwed up the first time, you can expect that to end up in the trash too.

Yours in Tebow,
SchiezaInc.

 

Agree with this ... had a story a few years back where two women had a hole-in-one on the same hole on the same day. Got them both back there to take a photo at the hole with the balls they used. On the same hole a year later, I did another story about a woman who had two aces within two weeks.

It might be the easiest hole in the country. Then again, I've never come closer than 10 feet.

 

I disagree about being a small-town sports person and having to do all of these beat stuff. Most small-town papers are driven by prep athletics, as mine is, and that's a full-time gig right there. Now we have a policy that we will basically run anything submitted, and we do get first kid killing deer pics and some rec sports stuff. But on this off-the-beat stuff, this should be submission base. Now you do have to expand coverage some in the summer, and we'll shoot Little League photos and accept results, along with covering the American Legion baseball team in the area.

 

Dear elementary school basketball parent:

No, I won't run your "game result" without the final score and the name of the team you played against because the game was lopsided and you're worried about making the other team feel bad. Don't you think if you're worried about that it doesn't need to be published at all? Come back and talk to me when the kids are old enough that I can cost them scholarships. Because I don't consider it a successful school year until I've done that at least a few times.

Sincerely, The Hacker