Dilemma of the worst kind

My neighbors' dogs all seem to think my front yard is their potty. I clean up several doggy doodies every day.

I don't consider it a dilemma. Just one of the sad facts of life when you move next door to people with pooches.

I guess I could toss my kid's dirty diapers into their yards, but that wouldn't solve much. Instead, I just scoop the stuff up and dump it under the trees on my neighbor's yard.

 

That line about the kids' diapers has me almost in tears from laughter ... guess I still haven't grown up. Busted.

TBF, I understand the frustration. A cat in my apartment complex - which prohibits pets - has been known to crawl on my car. It's annoying, sure, but I'm not going to invest in shock therapy or start a gun collection over it. Problem is I'm in later than the others, which means my car is usually warmer. And cats like heat. That's the way it is.

 

Can't you buy a truck cover? I've seen them for cars, don't know if there's such a thing for trucks or not? Cover the truck up at night.

 

Yeah.. the one's in my complex like to crawl under the car, but up into the warmth, so before anyone leaves on a winter morning, everyone honks their horns once so the cats can get out before the cars are turned on. There has been more than one car broken because of a cat, and more than one dead cat (obviously).

 

Most car manufacturers offer one. But unless you wash your vehicle constantly, you can end up doing the vehicle more harm cosmetically than good. Unless it's clean, all that grit builds up on the underside of the cover and constantly scratches the paint.

 

Go to a pet store, explain your situation and they'll find you a bottle of some crap that should keep the cats away from your truck. If you don't mention that you're open to killing the cats, they'll probably find some stuff that won't harm your truck

 

Cats? Shit. That's nothing.

Until I moved into my in-the-city house, I lived out in the country. I'd have raccoon, opossum and lord knows what other kind of prints on my car. I still have a bunch of animal scratches near the bottom of my door.

 

This is really just a predicament, and of the Ultimately Harmless Kind, isn't it?

 

I'd be dumping it right on their friggin' doorstep. People who don't mind their dogs don't deserve to have dogs. I clean up my backyard every couple of days because the last thing I need is the smell of shit baking in the afternoon sun.

 

I hate cats. I'm in full support of shooting them on sight. Feel free to sacrifice a few sleepless nights and set up sniper patrol. Do the world a favour.

 

Paging sportschick. Sportschick, please pick up the yellow courtesy phone.

 

I have this theory wherein the whole reason people have noticed that cats always land on their feet is that people are constantly dropping them from high places.