"Guess Heaven Needed a X" rant

Awesome stuff. People die and shit happens.

 

Man, if I could curse people to death, the fucktard in front of me on the interstate this afternoon would be playing a harp and wearing wings.

Or burning in hell.

 

That fucktard was probably late to his job at the AT&T store.

 

MUAHAHHAHA. I would have run him over then.

 

StormSurge is on fiyah!

 

Look hon, heaven already needed an AT&T Razor cell phone this week, and God decided to take yours. Right now, He's busy sending text messages to Vishnu, Jesus and Ra, the Egyptian sun god. He's also G-chatting with Aphroditie and Durga, seeing if they want to go to a party at Ashur's, the Mesopotamian god of the sky and king of kings. He's too busy to handle your cursing request. Maybe if you had an iPhone He could have taken, He could multi-task, and listen to the new Kanye/50 Cent project. But as it is, He needs to wait for your slow-ass browser to load. So sit tight. And also, God wants you to know: peace be with you.

 

Scoreboard.

 

Ha! My Razr's browser didn't even work right!

THAT'S scoreboard!

 

Hookers, weed and cookies.

When I die, I'm gonna hang out with Jones.

 

I guess Heaven needed a good "Farewell, I am leaving SportsJournalists.com" thread, because its gone from the board now.

 

Now that makes me sad.

 

I'm not sure that thread went to heaven, Dexy.