Happy Non-Father's Day

Interesting essay in Time magazine this week.

Basically says that studies show couples are happiest BEFORE they have children and AFTER the children have grown and moved away and are unhappiest while actually parenting.

After years of observing exasperated/frustrated/exhausted/angry parents in malls and supermarkets and parks and such, this is something I've always suspected to be true.

I expect a few on here (hello, Idaho) to vehemently disagree . . . but the article explains that, too.

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1202940,00.html

 

Here I am:

Sure I was happier (in some ways) before the kids came along. Free time to spare, nookie all the time, no poopy diapers, no minivans, no hormonal 12 year olds. Life's biggest challenges, trials and headaches now invariably involve the kids.

But I'm quite happy as I am now and find incredible joy from being a father.

Six of one, half a dozen of the other.

 

Anyone see Louis CK on this on the DailyShow last night? As a father of three -- 7, 5, ne'inwborn -- I thought it was f-in' hilarious.

 

2 sons with the oldest turning 13 on Sunday. The best years of my life, and Mrs Captain would agree 100%. Yes, it's hectic and chaotic at times raising kids from infancy, but it's rewarding and just so effin' fun. (Have to watch the language you know.)

Sure, you lose a little freedom, but on the plus side, having kids gives you the license to act like a kid at times (I think the parents on here know what I mean), which helps keep you young at heart, even as you age/grow up physically and mentally.

As an aside, what's the over/under on the number of father's day cards Shawn Kemp gets this year?

 

Do I get along with my wife as well as I did before our son was born? Probably not. I'm sure she'd say the same thing about me as well.

But nothing, repeat nothing, makes me happier than being with my son. There's nothing better than playing with him or listening to him laugh. And I'm sure nothing will be better than playing golf or doing whatever with him a few years down the road.

Not everything in life is wine and roses. And you should never expect it should be.

 

Well-said, FH. Could not say it better.

For the second straight year, my 12-year-old son is going with me to Treetops for a post-event vacation. Last year, we went to Chicago; this year it's Toronto. He looks forward to this all year, as do I.

I can see both sides of the coin. My wife and I had it pretty well before Thing 1 and Thing 2 came along. It's work, very hard work, to be sure. But it's -- and it took me a while and an involuntary exit from the biz to realize -- one of the most rewarding things I've ever done.

 

i read the article this morning and thought it was fascinating. i've been thinking about it all day. my wife and i have a great marriage. we're working on having kids soon. we often talk about how life will change and ultimately when we talk about the things we will miss in life because we have kids, the list is full of material stuff like seeing movies in the theater, nice restaurants and spontaneously dropping everything for a night out of town or something unexpected. it also includes things like how we like coming home at the end of a busy day and doing nothing. i guess my point is that the things we miss are awful shallow -- so we won't go to the movies much. ok. so we won't eat out much for a few years until kids are old enough to handle nice restaurants. big deal. so i can't come home after a busy day, sit my ass in front of the TV and flip channels constantly. i'll live. as elaine once said, 'i'm 30-something years old and i'm at a cockfight at 3 in the morning, jerry. what am i holding on to?'

 

Kids are great. A break from the kids is great.

But the best thing is doing stuff together. We are almost at the stage were we can go golfing without the kids arguing with each other over every little thing.

'Course my golf buddies do the same thing.

 

I agree with Idaho. Certainly I enjoyed evenings out with my ex drinking and playing trivia and taking off for a trip at a moment's notice. But ... when I hear my little man call me Daddy and he snuggles up into my arms (he does this all the time, actually), there's few feelings that could ever top it.

 

Of course it's true, because before and after kids you're focused enritely on keeping each other happy instead of your kids, who can often make your life miserable.

That said, me and the little guy are going out to breakfast on Sunday for Father's Day, and plan on splitting a milkshake. Mom's out of town for the weekend on business and I can hardly wait for our weekend of bachelorhood to begin.

 

I love being with my kids. Mrs. King, I can do without.

 

That can happen with offspring in the picture. Good neighbors help. Take each others' kids. No problem. Doesn't take too much planning.