Have you given up?

When I entered this business, it was with big dreams, as I'm sure it was with most everybody on here. I started off at a tiny paper for barely enough money to get by on. But it didn't matter, because I knew it was temporary. I would kick ass there, kick ass at the next stop and, eventually, work my way to a big paper with big resources and, yes, deep pockets to pay its employees.

Well, it hasn't exactly worked out that way. I have moved up somewhat, and the sad part is I don't know if 22-year-olds getting out of college now would even hope to reach where I am now 10 years down the road.

The thing is, as much as I know it's practical to give up the fight, that no metro is going to come knocking on my door in this job climate, and that it's time to move onto a career that's less frustrating and more lucrative, there is still that voice in me that says, "Keep at it. You'll be rewarded. This may be the year you win three APSE awards and someone, somewhere with those big resources and those deep pockets notices."

My question to everybody: With our profession in the shape it is, with far more jobs being cut than being created, when even $25K a year job postings receive hundreds of hopeful applicants, do you still harbor that hope of hitting the big-time? Of fulfilling the dreams you set out with in this profession?

 

It's still in the back of my mind. I still harbor dreams of working for the major metros and covering the big games.

However, I'm still in this business because I love what I'm doing now. Even though it's not where I want to be in the next 20 years or even where I would have wanted to be now. I get a lot out of what I'm doing. Unlike some of the people in this business, I CAN imagine being on the other side. I've been there. And I don't want to go back.

The reason the line "If I never see the good old days shining in the sun/I'll be doing fine and then some" from the Eagles' "How Long" appeals to me so much is what it suggests for me. Even if I never reach the lofty goals I had as a youngster dreaming of big bucks, fame and recognition, the fact that I love what I do and I do what I love gives me a rush that money can't buy.

Even if I never end up writing for The Washington Post or I never end up "famous in a small town" to quote Miranda Lambert, I'd like to think I made a difference in someone's life. Whether that be a story I helped someone tell or writers I've helped to get their first bylines, I feel I can do something positive.

Does this mean I don't have ambition? I don't like to think it does. I just realize now that life isn't one stretch of a straight byway. It has curves, twists, turns and potholes. It'd be boring if it didn't.

 

Please pardon me for going this way, but to answer your question, I honeslty believe this:

 

Six months ago I was pretty close to quitting the business, then, thanks to some changes at a paper where I knew someone, I was able to jump from a 30K to a (nearly) 100K paper.

I never had dreams of writing for the NY Times or Sports Illustrated. If it somehow happens, that's great, but I just want to be happy with where I am and what I'm doing, and right now I am. And I have little interest in going anywhere else for at least five years.

As for the future, I'll deal with it when it comes.

 

Oh, yeah? You guys hiring?

 

I haven't given up, but I have come to the conclusion that: 1. I'll probably get out of this business within a year, unless the economy tanks to the position where I'm just happy to have a job, and 2. I'm not unhappy that I am where I am. I like my co-workers, and it's neat to work for an independent shop, but if the opportunity arises to move up the chain (or out) I'm gone in two weeks.

 

Maybe this is going to sound very naive of me, but I can't ever see myself doing anything but writing and reporting.

 

That's my problem. Yet I want to quit.

 

I am a 22-year-old out of college and I will admit--I have no hopes whatsoever of reaching where you are.

I am not saying this to knock journalism--I love it and it's my true passion, but the newspaper is dead. It's just the wrong era for us to try and jump into that profession. But, the exciting thing is figuring out how to be innovative in the years to come and jump into the dot-com era.

 

No, it just means you don't define your self-worth by solely by your job.

Too many people in this business seem to do that. They have the whole "If I'm not covering (Division I programs or professional sports) by the time I'm (X) years old, I'm a failure."

 

At this point, personally, I'm not as worried about what I cover as getting compensated well to cover it.

 

Just a little more time is all we're asking for
Cause just a little more time could open closing doors
Just a little uncertainty can bring you down
And nobody wants to know you now
And nobody wants to show you how
So if you're lost and on your own
You can never surrender
And if your path won't lead you home
You can never surrender
And when the night is cold and dark
You can see, you can see light
Cause no-one can take away your right
To fight and never surrender

With a little perserverence you can get things down
Without the blind adherence that has conquered some
And nobody wants to know you now
And nobody wants to show you how
So if you're lost and on your own
You can never surrender
And if your path won't lead you home
You can never surrender
And when the night is cold and dark
You can see, you can see light
Cause no-one can take away your right
To fight and never surrender, to never surrender