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Help me -- I'm incredibly jaded now.

The Big Ragu said:
I had a very similar experience a few years ago with a kid I did volunteer work with. I had to go by the kid's apartment. We normally only saw these kids at their school, which is in a crappy neighborhood. This kid was living like a roach, but there was a kick-ash TV set in the apartment. And I had the same response you did.

I ended up talking to a lot of kids and teachers at the school (just subtly feeling things out, because it bothered me), and I figured out that it is symptomatic of poverty in the United States for the last 30 years, at least. There is a segment of the population that is poor, but they are constantly bombarded with the message that the American dream is to own the big-screen TV or the gaming system or the nice rims or the designer clothes. And that becomes the end game. Instead of it being, "I am going to climb the ladder," a kind of hopelessness has set in and they settle for a trapping or two of wealth, which is much easier. A big TV set says, "You've made it!".

My grandmother on my mom's side came over to the U.S. as an immigrant in the 1910s. She was 15 and came here alone. She left her whole family behind. Didn't speak a word of English. Her husband died when my mom was 7, so my grandmother, who was uneducated, raised two kids alone working in sweatshops. Both of her kids went to college and onto more affluent lives. That was the end game for them.

Something my uncle once said about his upbringing stuck with me. He said, "When your mom and I were kids, we were poor. But we didn't know we were poor."

I think that sort of crystallizes what has changed. It's subtle, but it's a fundamental shift in values (attributable to many factors). I do think it is a credit to my grandmother, but it's more than that. They were living in a more closed environment, at a time when people's worlds often didn't extend much farther than their neighborhoods. They weren't being hit with 1,000 messages a day selling the big-screen TV as the American dream. Their neighbors didn't have toys either, so there wasn't an envy syndrome. They knew there was a more affluent life out there, but if there was food on the table, it was a good day, and they didn't think of themselves as poor.

As a result, they were better able to focus on a purer version of the American dream: get an education, climb the ladder, etc. In some ways, it's the difference between hopelessness and hope.

Good post.

I've been saying for years that there have always been rich and poor people. There always will be. But the difference is that in 1910, you just HEARD that the Rockefellers were rich. You weren't invited into their homes every night on MTV "Cribs." What makes matters worse is that you see illiterate fools like the Ying-Yang Twins renting Bentleys for the "Cribs" shoot and everyone figures they can lead the same lifestyle. No one sees the Bentley dealership coming back to collect the goods once the cameras leave.
 
There's a guy in my town who took it upon himself to help some of the Katrina evacuees who relocated here. They were placed in a local church camp that had a number of small single-family style cabins. So this guy goes to one of them and asks if there's anything she needs. First thing that comes out of her mouth is a TV. Not food, clothes, transportation or anything most of us would consider necessities. She did have kids, so he didn't question it, and he went and bought her a TV, then took it to her. When he delivered it, she said, you know, they don't have cable here, do you think you could help us out? He thought it was strange, but went ahead and paid for a couple of months' worth of cable. Then she called him and said, "This TV's too small ..." He immediately hung up.

Very disillusioning when someone tries to take advantage of someone's generosity.
 
I've had this question come up with family members, in the context of church giving and people who abuse it. Granted my answer is rooted in my religious beliefs, but I think it works from a secular standpoint also.

You are responsible for helping others.
They are responsible for what they do with that help.
 
dixiehack said:
I've had this question come up with family members, in the context of church giving and people who abuse it. Granted my answer is rooted in my religious beliefs, but I think it works from a secular standpoint also.

You are responsible for helping others.
They are responsible for what they do with that help.

Good point, Dixie. I was about to give up giving a buck to the panhandler on the street for fear he'd buy a plasma TV with it.
 
This is the downside to working in the non-profit or social sector: the disillusionment.

I used to work with inner-city kids in a sports capacity. The kids were dressed better than I was. And most, not all, were ingrate brats to boot.
 
Ace said:
dixiehack said:
I've had this question come up with family members, in the context of church giving and people who abuse it. Granted my answer is rooted in my religious beliefs, but I think it works from a secular standpoint also.

You are responsible for helping others.
They are responsible for what they do with that help.

Good point, Dixie. I was about to give up giving a buck to the panhandler on the street for fear he'd buy a plasma TV with it.

The only time I've given a panhandler money in the last 10 years when a guy came up to me and asked for a dollar so he could buy some beer. Gotta reward the truth.
 
Mystery Meat said:
Ace said:
dixiehack said:
I've had this question come up with family members, in the context of church giving and people who abuse it. Granted my answer is rooted in my religious beliefs, but I think it works from a secular standpoint also.

You are responsible for helping others.
They are responsible for what they do with that help.

Good point, Dixie. I was about to give up giving a buck to the panhandler on the street for fear he'd buy a plasma TV with it.

The only time I've given a panhandler money in the last 10 years when a guy came up to me and asked for a dollar so he could buy some beer. Gotta reward the truth.

Used to be a panhandler outside Yankee Stadium with a sign that said something like, "I'll be honest. I'm going to buy booze." The guy used to clean up.
 
The Big Ragu said:
Mystery Meat said:
Ace said:
dixiehack said:
I've had this question come up with family members, in the context of church giving and people who abuse it. Granted my answer is rooted in my religious beliefs, but I think it works from a secular standpoint also.

You are responsible for helping others.
They are responsible for what they do with that help.

Good point, Dixie. I was about to give up giving a buck to the panhandler on the street for fear he'd buy a plasma TV with it.

The only time I've given a panhandler money in the last 10 years when a guy came up to me and asked for a dollar so he could buy some beer. Gotta reward the truth.

Used to be a panhandler outside Yankee Stadium with a sign that said something like, "I'll be honest. I'm going to buy booze." The guy used to clean up.

I should try that in front of my liquor store. Sign: "Want to buy Grey Goose. Only have money for Aristocrat. Help me."
 
I have a 27-inch TV that's been sitting on my floor unused since January. Anyone want it?
 
We just ran a brief on a woman who rented a $2,000 HDTV from Rent-A-Center and tried to sell it at a second-hand store.
Hello felony larceny and fraud charges.
If you drive through some of the poorest areas of my town, you'll see more satellite dishes than ESPN's HQ in Bristol.
 
pallister said:
I have a 27-inch TV that's been sitting on my floor unused since January. Anyone want it?

The poor can't be bothered to mess with your lame 27-inch TV. Is it flat screen? Is it plasma?
 
No, just a regular old color TV that my rabbit ears won't work on. I've pretty much given up on TV viewing so it's just become a piece of furniture.
 

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