Hilariously Bad Interview Questions

[Johnny Dangerously]

Don't think I would ever want to come across as dumb to get a good quote. The reputation of being an idiot will stay with you longer than anyone will remember the quote.

Trust me: The athletes and coaches already know you're dumb, and I don't mean that as an attack on you. We are all dumb. They know better than we do why they ran that play, why the X broke off his route, why they attacked that particular corner, etc.

Most sports reporters know far less than they think about what they cover. Coaches and athletes know this. They talk about it among themselves. For obvious reasons they don't make an issue of it very often in scrums.

It's OK to ask questions. Playing dumb, for lack of a better term, is an honest approach I think most coaches and athletes would find refreshing.

 

[alleyallen]

An aging former world champion comes back to fight in his hometown for the first time in several years. Though known for a lack of punching power, he knocks out the designated tomato can in the first round. After the bout, a reporter asks the victim about the punch that put him down: "Did it hurt?"

You know what? I don't think that's such a stupid question.

Not to threadjack, but I'm wondering if a boxer has ever gotten hit, reeled back and yelled really loudly, "Man, that freaking hurt! What's up with that?"

 

[Bullwinkle]

An aging former world champion comes back to fight in his hometown for the first time in several years. Though known for a lack of punching power, he knocks out the designated tomato can in the first round. After the bout, a reporter asks the victim about the punch that put him down: "Did it hurt?"

You know what? I don't think that's such a stupid question.

I don't think it's bad, either. On the rare occasion where a boxer might be honest, you might get a decent response.

"Did that hurt?"

"Oh, heck yeah ... I want to eat your children."

Or something like that. Never know.

 

[slowcenter]

Many years ago when Karl Malone was a member of the USA Basketball Dream Team, an international reporter asked him: "Why is a basket worth two points?"

Not necessarily a bad question, but the variety of looks on The Mailman's face (astonishment, befuddlement and amusement were at least three of the emotions etched on his face) as he searched for an answer was absolutely hilarious. I laugh about it 'til this day.

 

[boots]

Many years ago when Karl Malone was a member of the USA Basketball Dream Team, an international reporter asked him: "Why is a basket worth two points?"

Not necessarily a bad question, but the variety of looks on The Mailman's face (astonishment, befuddlement and amusement were at least three of the emotions etched on his face) as he searched for an answer was absolutely hilarious. I laugh about it 'til this day.

I got that same look from him when I asked about his child support payments.

 

[slowcenter]

Many years ago when Karl Malone was a member of the USA Basketball Dream Team, an international reporter asked him: "Why is a basket worth two points?"

Not necessarily a bad question, but the variety of looks on The Mailman's face (astonishment, befuddlement and amusement were at least three of the emotions etched on his face) as he searched for an answer was absolutely hilarious. I laugh about it 'til this day.

I got that same look from him when I asked about his child support payments.

What did he eventually say?

 

[boots]

Something along the lines of its none of my damn business and wanting to kick my ass. I can't recall the exact words exchanged but I never asked him that question again, that's for sure.

 

[Tom Petty]

Something along the lines of its none of my damn business and wanting to kick my ass. I can't recall the exact words exchanged but I never asked him that question again, that's for sure.

damn, you coulda added salt lake to your list.

 

[boots]

Something along the lines of its none of my damn business and wanting to kick my ass. I can't recall the exact words exchanged but I never asked him that question again, that's for sure.

damn, you coulda added salt lake to your list.

It didn't happen in Salt Lake. It happened in Oakland and yes, Oak Town is on the list.

 

[Tom Petty]

Something along the lines of its none of my damn business and wanting to kick my ass. I can't recall the exact words exchanged but I never asked him that question again, that's for sure.

damn, you coulda added salt lake to your list.

It didn't happen in Salt Lake. It happened in Oakland and yes, Oak Town is on the list.

even the mailman watches his back in oak town.

 

[MilanWall]

I was covering a high school football game and Podunk defeated Rival Not in Our Coverage Area 38-31 or something like that. Of those 31 points, 14 came on special teams (a blocked punt and a kickoff return) and one touchdown came in the last minute on a broken play (Podunk's defensive back fell down) to make the score look slightly more presentable. I write for the Podunk paper and was trying to get a quote from Rival coach asking if Podunk's defense did anything to stifle the rhythm of the Rival offense (Podunk had several sacks and tackles for loss).

Hometown coach's response: "We scored 31 points. That's a stupid question."

Then he yelled, "That's a stupid question!" again and walked away.

 

[goalmouth]

It's 2002 and the Bears had just helped New England win by calling a timeout in the last minute as the Patriots drove for the game-winning TD.

Def. Co. Greg Blache is in near meltdown with about 40 reporters standing around him in the locker room. He rants for about 30-40 seconds about how much heart the defense has and blah, blah, blah. He's in PC mode but clearly pissed off at the defense. He ends his excuse-making with "we were just in bad position," to explain the timeout.

Then he stops. No one says anything for what seems like 10 seconds but is probably only two or three, and I, thinking someone has to keep the rant going, blurt "But should you have even been in that position?"

A TV lady behind me actually gasped. Rick Morrisey looked at me like I was the anti-Christ. Peter King choked on his sandwich.

Blache's head spins around Linda Blair-like as he assimilates the ridiculous question (it's the only thing that popped into my head).

He screams, and I mean screams, "You know, maybe you ought to be some kind of big-time writer, working for a big-time magazine somewhere. But no, you work for whoever you work for.* We have to deal with what we've got," before railing on some of his DB's (R.W. McCouldn'tcoveratable being one) and then his entire defense for five or six minutes. He was so mad, he just wouldn't shut up.

That's a great story. I knew Blache when he coached the DBs at Tulane. We all thought he was a good enough screamer to make it to the NFL.