I guess you're all right about me

Apparently, I really am an asshole.

I went to a Dave and Busters to watch the Canelo/Triple G fight fight. It was free, as opposed to $85 at home or $20 in a movie theater, and a friend I had not seen in several years suggested meeting him there to watch it.

At one point in my life I considered this guy one of my best friends, but for various reasons, we had not seen each other in a while.

Catching up on things, he mentioned that he had prostate cancer at one point. I mentioned that my father had it and one of my younger brothers was checked for it, but didn't have it.

Before the main event, he stepped away, left his empty glass at the bar and disappeared. After getting a refill on my soda, just before the main event, I sent him an instant message on Facebook asking where he was. This is what he replied with

I'm kind of confused but maybe he's right. I do have a tendency to be all about me sometimes.

It was just kind of strange. The conversation was friendly enough. No arguing. If I didn't ask what happened I never would have known.

Think it's about time I take a long hard look at myself and how I treat other people?

 

Wow. I’m a bit surprised you shared that sp, but right off the bat, no matter how much of an asshole you may or may not be, his action was far more assholish. And it sounds like maybe there’s more history between you two than just last night’s conversation. I mean, you both probably have reasons for not being in touch with each other for so long.

Anyway, taking time for self reflection is always a good idea. I do it a lot, and have reflected on lots of things, including what I do here at SJ. That’s why outings and meeting fellow posters in real life is important to me. We all have online personas that may not be like what we are in real life. Part of what I do here is an act, for a little entertainment. I’d have to ask @Justin_Rice , @spikechiquet , @Dyno amd @KJIM via PMs how I come across in real life. I don’t know. Hope I don’t come across as a douchebag.

Anyway, back to your story and incident. My initial reactions were, like I said above:

1) what an asshole your “friend” is,
2) what prior history,
3) self reflection is good (be sure to include how you drive!) and
4) maybe being on SJ is having a terrible effect on you?



Don’t be too hard on yourself. No matter what, we all have some good in us. Be sure as you reflect that you remind yourself that deep down, you ARE a good person.

And fuck him. Sheesh.

 

Imagine if your friend's dad walked on the moon.

 

What a shitty beer pour by that bartender. Fucks up the whole scene. I’d have pushed it back and politely asked him to do better than giving me half foam.

 

Well, I guess you could have played along for awhile . . .

"Gee, were there any symptoms?"
"What treatments did you undergo?"
"Are you cancer-free now?"

. . . before resuming your regularly scheduled miserable, self-absorbed programming.

 

To your credit, you did text him to find out what was wrong. You also apologized, even though his leaving like that was a jerk move.

 

Nah, today's kids call it ghosting.

SP got ghosted by a cancer patient lol.

 

Did you sell him your old car or something?

 

The guy drops the news he has cancer. You try relating to him by mentioning your family has some experience with it. The guy gets pissed and ghosts you like some 14-year-old, angst-filled girl.

From what you shared, it doesn't seem like you were in the wrong. The guy probably expected you to get on your hands and knees and weep for his diagnosis. That's bullshit.

You apologized, but the guy still acted like a whiny bitch. You did your part. If your friend will act this way moving forward, it's probably best to move on.

 

I feel awful for knowing this, but if SP's friend didn't respond to his texts/Facebook messages that would be ghosting. You need the added step of ignoring electronic messages.

 

VB gives some great advice. The fact you are willing to reflect on what you may have done puts your asshole quotient much lower. It was a jerk move by your friend to just up and leave without saying anything first.

 

OK, I'll concede that point.