If I had $50 million ...

I'm sure this thread has been done before (hey, I've got short-term memory loss -- thanks Gulf War Illness), but what would you do with $50 million? And, more importantly, would you still work if you won it in a lottery?

If I did work (and I probably would, at some writing job likely), I'd definitely commute in a helicopter.

 

I'd be rich. Times 50.

 

Helicopter is a good one.

I'd buy a house in Sandpoint, ID on the lakefront with all the water toys (waverunners, ski boat) I'd ever need.
I'd donate $5m to my college and split half of it to the J-school and the other half to the athletic department and try to get the football team up to snuff.
I'd buy everyone here a green dress. But not a real green dress, that's cruel.

 

If I Had A Million Dollars


If I had a $1000000
(If I had a $1000000)
I'd buy you a house
(I would buy you a house)
If I had a $1000000
(If I had a $1000000)
I'd buy you furniture for your house
(Maybe a nice chesterfield or an ottoman)
And if I had a $1000000
(If I had a $1000000)
I'd buy you a K-Car
(A nice Reliant automobile)
If I had $1000000 I'd buy your love.

If I had a $1000000
I'd build a tree fort in our yard
If I had $1000000
You could help, it wouldn't be that hard
If I had $1000000
Maybe we could put like a little tiny fridge in there somewhere
You know, we could just go up there and hang out
Like open the fridge and stuff
There would be already laid out foods for us
Like little pre-wrapped sausages and things

If I had $1000000
(If I had $1000000)
I'd buy you a fur coat
(But not a real fur coat that's cruel)
And if I had $1000000
(If I had a $1000000)
I'd buy you an exotic pet
(Like a llama or an emu)
And if I had $1000000
(If I had a $1000000)
I'd buy you John Merrick's remains
(All them crazy elephant bones)
And If I had $1000000 I'd buy your love.

If I had a $1000000
We wouldn't have to walk to the store
If I had a $1000000
We'd take a limousine 'cause it costs more.
If I had a $1000000
We wouldn't have to eat Kraft Dinner
But we would eat Kraft Dinner
Of course we would, we’d just eat more
And buy really expensive ketchups with it
That’s right, all the fanciest dijon ketchups
Mmmmmm

If I had $1000000
(If I had $1000000)
I'd buy you a green dress
(But not a real green dress, that's cruel)
And if I had $1000000
(If I had $1000000)
I'd buy you some art
(A Picasso or a Garfunkel)
If I had $1000000
(If I had $1000000)
I'd buy you a monkey
(Haven't you always wanted a monkey?)

If I had $1000000
I’d buy your love

If I had $1000000, If I had $1000000
If I had $1000000, If I had $1000000
I'd be rich

 

I've always wanted to have a fountain which ran on champagne (or beer), a wine cellar, an aquaduct in my bedroom and an indoor ski slope.

 

I'd pay off my student loans, buy a brand spanking new Subaru wagon, donate 5 million each to Ohio University, the Humane Society and Big Brothers Big Sisters and then I'd buy a house on Flathead Lake and retire with my millions, slowly becoming that creepy old rich woman who doesn't trust banks, keeps all her cash in her mattress and has 5,000 cats.

 

You know what I'd do with $50 million? One-hundred chicks at the same time, man.

 

Thanks, Del_B. The 'But not a real green dress, that's cruel' line always makes me giggle.

I'd buy plane tickets to someplace safe and far away from everything for Brook and I. Then hire some people to get him there.

 

That line always cracked me up too.

The best thing was once Barenaked Ladies got pretty popular, they had to stop people from bringing Kraft Mac and Cheese to the shows because it created a giant mess for the cleanup crew.

 

Kidnapping doesn't become you, IJAG. Even the pretend rich you.

 

I'd put it all on black and double up.

 

dang it! i used the green dress line first! 35 seconds earlier, in fact!

give me my props, beeotches