If newspapers go away ...

I'm sure this has been done before, maybe in a column, but I'd love to see what this board can combine to compile. I don't want to debate the newsprint business model vs. online delivery of the news -- we have enough of those threads -- but, rather, to consider a world vastly different than the one in which we grew up.

It reminds me of a cartoon I saw in a college textbook: "Dad, what's clockwise?"

So, if newspapers go away ...

... what will students hold up in front of their faces at basketball games while the visiting team's starting lineup is announced?

... what will fans and players raise in celebration on the field or court after winning a championship?

... will Internet stories on Inkjet stock be the paper of record in scrapbooks?

... what will people collect to commemorate historic occasions, such as Barack Obama's inauguration?

Please add your own, if you'd like.

 

... what will I line my birdcage with?

 

...what will newborn housepets crap on?

DAMN YOU TSP!

 

Will sales of packing-paper (like, for wrapping dishes when you move) go up dramatically?

Will the paper-recycling industry collapse?

In what will people wrap their fish?

What will we do with all the tight little plastic bags papers come in?

 

How will TV and radio reporters get their news to report?

 

... Who will dysfunctional parents of high school kids call up and rail against in a rabid and self-righteous rage?

 

...and bloggers, too.

 

What will Johnny from Airplane! use to make a hat, a brooch or a pterodactyl?

 

What will you take to the crapper?

 

And what will the content of that BlackBerry be? A thousand blogs on last night's Red Sox game?

 

What will you use to threaten the dog?

 

What will my mom and I fight over in the mornings when I visit?

Where will my mom cut out her coupons?