Is anybody else finding it hard to tear away from the biz?

As much as I want to leave papers (and I do, trust me), when I actually consider the prospect of taking this business writing job back home that I could be offered in the next couple weeks, the doubt starts rolling in. "Am I leaving these guys that are like battle-tested brothers to me in the lurch... what if I regret it when the economy settles back down... is this something that will legitimately stimulate me..."

Look at it with objective eyes and it gets clearer. Weekends off, ability for advancement, normal hours, vacation, job security, better benefits, leaving the crooked newspaper business behind, something I could grow to really enjoy...

It just almost seems like quitting, yanno? Like I'm giving up because I can't hack it. I know that's mostly false, and it's doubly hard because I'm good at this. I feel comfortable (if sometimes bereft of purpose) with a recorder in my hands and I feel settled on a tight deadline, almost exhilarated even. But I'm really struggling with these thoughts that seemed so cut and dry when I didn't actually have a legit offer in hand to leave sports writing -- probably for good. It'd be nice to know if anybody else is struggling with some of the same issues. Am I just a glutton for punishment?

 

The problem is, when you say, "Will I miss it?" we're talking about "miss it" as in terms of how it used to be.
Yes you miss writing on deadline, writing a good game story or feature, hanging out with fellow sports writers and the travel (once you get there). But you don't miss it in this current climate. Getting salaries frozen, told to do more with less, working OT and not getting paid for it, having to listen to ridiculous presentations from "experts" on twitter and new media; experts that are full of shit. The list goes on.
You miss the way IT USED TO BE. Get out and stay out and don't look back.

 

Let me make this really simple.

Take that job (if offered) and go.

Your "brothers in the trenches" will get by without you.

 

my struggle is that I just love what I do ... I'm a community sports journalist at heart (give me a camera as well!), and I feel wired to do this type of job, which I've done for most of the past 10+ years ... But I hate, hate, hate what the industry has become, and I hate that most of us can't make a decent living doing it (and that we're all going backwards now days) ... And I hate the bitter person I've become over the past 18 months working for a crummy company that doesn't give a crap about putting out a quality product or caring for its workers, customers, etc.

My head says "get the heck out -- quit taking all the crap!" but my heart says "it's just not that easy - can I really be happy doing anything else?" ... I guess it's like the girl you've crushed on for years that doesn't love you back ... you think "maybe this will be the day that I win her heart" ...

 

I've been out nearly a year (except for freelancing) and I honestly don't miss it as much as i thought i would. I don't miss the deadlines, the late nights, the disasters waiting to happen, the computer glitches, the ungrateful people, etc. Now, I'm seriously questioning whether I even want to apply for the few jobs in decent locations that I find.

My bigger issue is trying to identify some alternative career field that interests me. Not easy when you've done basically one thing for almost 20 years.

But you needn't stay in something you no longer enjoy for the sake of someone's else. One of the things this period has demonstrated is the utter lack of loyalty on the part of owners and management. Each of us must do what is best for himself/herself. No sane person would hold that against anyone.

 

I've been out almost two years - save for a fun 90-day part-time stint that ended prematurely when the company wanted the 90 cents I was making every two weeks back - and I miss it.

As much as I want back in, I need to feel reassured that anyone claiming to hire full-time won't put me on the chopping block mere weeks after I would say "yes." Who will provide that reassurance given the current state of the industry?

 

The fine folks at...um, CNHI would like to remind all of its people who are torn about leaving to drop management a line....it will remind them to turn up the pain.

 

I've lost count the number of times I've said to myself "Today is the day I leave the business." After probably three years of being ready to make the leap, my feet are still on the ground.

But I'd imagine this is right where the corporate big-dogs want us all. Fear will motivate you just enough to put up with bullshit just so you keep your job.

 

We're living 1984. That's it. Orwell wasn't writing about some dystopian uber-society. He was writing about the fucking newspaper business in 2009. Only where the thought police monitor our e-mails and tell us not to go over 40 hours.

"Do you begin to see, then, what kind of world we are creating? It is the exact opposite of the stupid hedonistic Utopias that the old reformers imagined. A world of fear and treachery and torment, a world of trampling and being trampled upon, a world which will grow not less but more merciless as it refines itself. Progress in our world will be progress toward more pain."

 

I've been out almost six months, and there are some things I miss and other things I don't miss.

I miss the atmosphere of the newsroom, the interaction between the fellas in the sports department. The rush of finishing up four late pages two minutes before deadline. The late-night, after-work beers with the guys.

I don't miss the shitty paychecks, working weekends, dealing with shrinking space, budget cuts, wondering when I'm going to get laid off, editing the same mistake day after day, waiting and waiting for that last story to be filed.

Am I glad I left the newspaper business? Yes and No. Would I ever go back. I'd never say never, but I can't see it happening.

I like living a normal life. For others, that may not be appealing enough to leave the business. A friend of mine -- a damn good journalist and editor -- obviously wants more money and a more secure job, but said he can't ever envision himself leaving newspapes on his own. Said he couldn't be happy doing anything else. And I believe him.

 

WFW