"Job descriptions"

Recently at my paper, they made us fill out long-ass "job description" packets in which we wrote, in detail, every single little piece of work we ever do there.

They told us it was simply so they could "tailor our new computer system to our needs." However..... I just so happened to be watching American Beauty this afternoon, and Kevin Spacey's character goes off about how they have to fill out job descriptions so "management can rationalize layoffs." I found that to be an eery coincidence.

I'm one of the younger people in my sports department. Should I be fearing for my job right now? Are layoffs probably immenent at my paper?
(I'll mop this urine off my pant-leg and eagerly await your responses .....)

 

As long as you have your long leather jacket Snake you'll be just fine. They wouldn't lay you off anyway for that might cause them to have urine stains on their pants.

 

So Snake, what would you say you actually DO here?

 

I wouldn't exactly say I've been "missing" work .... Thank you, Bob ... Bob

 

Honestly, Snake, I have no idea what it means other than what we've both seen in the movies. So, yeah, I wouldn't blame you if you were a bit nervous. From what I know about managers, they probably got the idea from the movies.

 

They are figuring out how to fire you.

Reply: "I do anything and everything my superiors direct me to do. It is not within my authority to determine job responsibilities."

 

Not bad.

 

Welcome to the board, Snake.

I thought you were dead.

 

Bang your boss in the ass and make him shout "I am the king!"

Then to a bunch of bench presses in the garage.

 

I had this meeting a few months ago. They're creating a new front-end system in our place, and so a bunch of people had to detail the processes for regular duties to a consultant.

As a Web guy, I'm pretty sure my job's safe. But during the announcement where the consultant was introduced, I was looking for the "Is This Good For The Company?" banner.

 

If they fire you, do this...

 

On a side note, we had to do this at my shop a few months back. As far as I know, no one got laid off and it seemed to help with communication for the higher ups. It had a lot to do with what we cover and how much. Actually, it was part of me not having to cover the non-revenue sports of the univ. I cover, so it was a good process for me.
But in the off chance that you do get canned, see my above post.