Masters for Tiger

Golf terms that will sound dirty when Tiger does them...

Chipping from the fringe
Strong right-handed grip
Opened up the club face
Not his best effort
Stuck the pin
Grip it and rip it
Tap in
Let me wear my best suit while you...

Oh, the last one was not a golf term.

 

the airspace over that section of washington road is indeed restricted. maybe not officially, but it is.

the only way would be for a quick passover but that'll be about it. I think the chronicle caught a lot of heat (maybe it was the ajc) when they did a flyover to get shots of the expansion of several hole out there a few years ago.

I know when I fly into the bush field, the approach would be easier from that way sometimes, but they vector us around over the river course and downtown augusta before heading over phinzy swamp.

 

I would be fun to ask double-entendre questions:

Tiger, how did it feel to sink your first putt after such a long drought?

What's it feel like to have Stevie back on your bag?

Do you feel like you can grip it and rip it anymore? Or do you have to practice coarse management?

 

This is the first time he'll be available to answer questions, so absolutely he's fair game for anyone to ask about what he's gone through. You can do it without being a dick too...

"Tiger, what have the last few months been like for you?"

"Tiger, after going through a personal crisis, has it been difficult to focus on golf?"

"Tiger, Jamie Jungers said on The Howard Stern Show that you fucked her minutes after finding out your father had died and that you don't ever tip. Your thoughts?"

 

Doesn't anyone else think that Tiger will find one of his favorite media types to do one of these sitdown interviews - like say with Jeremy Schapp -- the Sunday before the Masters so he can get all the "dirty laundry" out there and thus diffuse some of the media circus once he gets to the course?

 

He's looking at an 8-incher here.
Fore!
His ball is buried deep in the rough.
Foursome.

 

So where does Tiger stay when he's in Augusta? You can bet TMZ will be camping out at the house he's staying at watching all the cummings and goings even if they can't get onto the course.

if this is his first competitive tournament back, I would be shocked if he won. And nothing to due with the drama in his life or the emotional baggage, simply the rust from not playing competitive golf in so long.

Really would like to see him address his first press conference in Otter style from Animal House when they're called before the council after the toga party:

"The issue here isn't that I wrecked an SUV or took a few liberties with a dozen or so female friends. I did." (wink)

 

And my personal favorite...

"Get in the hole!"

 

Unlike how Tiger used to roll, when a member always got it done.
Hey-O!!

 

The Augusta folks will have Steve Williams on standby at all press conferences. Any questions about Tiger's philandering will result in Williams tossing the reporter into the nearest pond.