Minor league baseball press release about an egg

Could someone please explain...?

FLORENCE'S EGG-CITING NEWS
01/07/2008

Freedom Owner Clint Brown's plan for egg salad sandwiches will not be hatched in 2008. Dr. Dick Bachmeyer, a long-time Freedom season ticket holder, has proclaimed that the egg shows vital signs and that cooking it would be a huge mistake.

"There's something alive in there," Dr. Bachmeyer stated after performing an egg-stensive examination. "Not sure what, but you certainly can't scramble it now."

The mystery egg arrived November 30th at the team's doorstep. For weeks now, the Freedom front office staff has been at an impasse with what to do with it. Some staff members have even given up their weekends to keep the egg warm. Others were in total support of the egg salad idea. But now, the consensus is to keep the egg in house and hope that whatever hatches is friendly.

Senior Account Executive Elizabeth Quatman, an incubation proponent from the time the egg was discovered, strongly believes that whatever hatches would have to be sweet and friendly. "Nothing mean or angry hatches from a pink egg with green polka dots," she said after keeping the egg warm for several hours today.

Freedom Media Relations Manager Ashley Thompson is still a little nervous about what the egg contains. "Even Dr.Bachmeyer couldn't tell us what's in there. He just knows it's alive. Godzilla was alive too, and I'm sure the egg he came from looked strange."

While the size of whatever is inside the egg is unknown, it is important to note that the egg did not test positive for performance enhancing substances or human growth hormone according to Dr. Bachmeyer's report.

For now, the egg will remain warm and cozy in the Bank of Kentucky Freedom Gift shop at Champion Window Field until further arrangements can be made.

The Florence Freedom is a member of the Frontier League, a 12-team Independent Professional Baseball League established in 1993. The Freedom play a 96 game schedule with 54 home games between late May and early September.

FOR MORE INFORMATION CONTACT: Ashley Thompson at the Freedom office by calling (859) 594-4487 x 17 or via email ashley.thompson@florencefreedom.com.

 

What eggzactly is your question?

 

Does the Egg in question vibrate in any way?

 

Get it before it gets you.

 

I just don't understand the point of the release. I'm all for having "fun" during the off-season to attract publicity, but this doesn't make any sense.

 

Stop trying to Egg-aggerate the point.

 

Where's Mr. Egghead when you need him?

 

How rude!

 

I'm gonna guess that a new mascot is going to hatch before the season starts.

 

Eggzellent.

 

You'll never crack this case, Batman!

 

I didn't even know Florence had a baseball team...