Professional wrestling thread

Actually, this is very true to the history of ECW. During its heyday, Heyman never announced a full card before a PPV. They'd announce the two biggest matches beforehand--Taz vs. Sabu and the winner of Stevie Richards vs. Sandman vs. Terry Fuck three-way-dance against Raven for the ECW World Heavyweight Title at the first Barely Legal--and then surprise the crowd with the remainder of the card.

Yes, I'm a loser for knowing all of that. I'm an even bigger loser for actually posting it. I'm now going to feel shame for a long period of time.

 

It's OK. I just wonder why an ECW PPV is being held in Augusta, Ga.?

 

Old ECW could do that. New ECW doesn't have the improvisational skills or wrestling talent to make it look like anything other than a grade-A clusterfuck. The Hardyz will probably end up wrestling Johnny Nitro and Gregory Helms despite none of them being ECW guys, and I'm sure other non-ECW wrestlers will be there too, continuing the watering-down of the brand splits.

The Elimination Chamber is the wrong match to headline an ECW PPV for two reasons: 1. It's too gimmicky and WWE-ish for ECW (though I guess the last point isn't even worth raising anymore with Test, Matt Striker and Sylveter Terkay on the roster). 2. It burns up all their upper-card talent in one match. The rest of the card will be comprised of guys nobody cares about, "originals" thrust into matches against said nobodies with no backstory or reason to care and the aforementioned Raw/SD invaders.

Off-the-cuff card as I'd do it, staying with the current roster (outside one minor surprise roster switch):

No. 1 contender's mini-tournament semifinals: C.M. Punk d. Hardcore Holly, Test d. Sabu

Balls Mahoney d. Mike Knox after Knox gets distracted by Kelly Kelly accidentally yelling "go C.M.!" towards the end of the match. Knox breaks up with her in the middle of the ring, making her cry, and teases hitting her before C.M. Punk runs in to save her from a beatdown. Kelly and Punk embrace as Knox fumes.

Super Crazy d. Little Guido (they're doing nothing with Crazy on Raw, move him over and let him have some fun with an old rival). Crazy gets attacked by Davari and Great Khali afterwards.

Sabu/Sandman/Tommy Dreamer d. Matt Stryker/Heyman's Security Force. Setup -- Heyman tells the faces that Stryker and the Bashams (or Doug Basham and whoever's filling in for the injured Danny) that they do a better job of representing the new breed of ECW than the used up old names.

No. 1 contender tournament final: Test d. Punk when Kelly Kelly turns on Punk

ECW title: Rob Van Dam d. Big Show (c), Extreme Rules

I wouldn't have moved Lashley over, at least not for this. Ditto the Hardyz, because unless they have an incredible angle set up for tonight to lead us into an ECW match (Lita loses final match, Edge chews her out, Hardyz make the save, Lita postpones her WWE departure by rejoining the Hardyz to wrestle Rated RKO in an Extreme Rules match), it's not going to fit well in the card.

 

I think they wanted to hold it in the old ECW Arena or the Hammerstein again, but when the fans took a great big steaming shit on the Big Show-Batista match (gee, wonder why?), McMahon decided to move next week's PPV after that. God forbid old-school ECW fans act like old-school ECW fans in an old-school ECW venue when they're faced with an unabashedly unextreme main event.

 

Actually, during its first run, ECW did run a PPV in Augusta. The purpose of the entire show was to shoot on how uniformly shitty WCW was.

I think the reason Augusta was selected as the city to host December To Dismember was that WWE was displeased with NYC and Philly. WWE ran an ECW house show and a ECW TV show in Philly, and both times the crowd spent a great deal of time heckling the wrestlers, along with telling Vince and Co. that they suck. WWE ran an ECW TV show at the Hammerstein Ballroom, and that crowd crapped on the Batista-Big Show main event, chanting "Boring," "I can do that," "R-V-D!," and ''Change the channel!" The powers that be in WWE land were less than pleased with both crowds, so they decided not to run the PPV in an ECW stomping ground to guarantee that they'd have a pro-WWECW crowd.

 

Hardlycare Holly, Balls Mahoney, Mike Knox, Dreamer, Sandman, Kevin Thorn, FBI, Khali, Daivari, Shannon Moore, Stryker, Burke, Terkay and, hell, Terry Funk still has a bio on the Extremists page.

Is Mick Foley going to be a late add?

 

I was at ONS II, and it was one of the wildest crowds I've ever seen. I've never heard a crowd get on a guy like they got on John Cena.

 

God I hope not. He's out of shape and if they did put him in, it'd be a waste. If he returns to hardcore, it should be something big (like maybe having him replace Heyman as the commissioner, only as Cactus Jack and not the goofy nerd he was when he was WWE commish).

I think Funk is there out of respect, but his body may have finally realized its age, and I doubt he'll have much if anything left as a wrestler. But they've said that about him many times before.

Shannon Moore, what a bunch of nothing he turned out to be. He got a decent shot in TNA by going straight into a feud with A.J. Styles and managed to produce nothing matches and no reason to give a fuck about him or his stupid-ass look. Then he quits them so he can be an unintentional parody on ECW, there apparently only to give Punk's straight edge character early cred as an overblown poseur, then to fade into nothingness. He's supposed to be a good worker, but I never saw it. If he were in TNA still, he'd probably have dyed his hair blacklight and joined Raven's new flock/nest/whatever the fuck it is.

 

Cena should have cut a long worked shoot promo in the spot where JBL did it. He could have busted on them for being poseur virgins who jerk off to PitBulls matches and have less hardcore in them than Doink. He could have started a riot better than anyone in that building, with the possible exception of Buh Buh Ray Dudley.

 

Good call on Shannon Moore. I don't watch TNA but had heard about him before he came to ECW.

When he actually showed up on TV, I almost spit my beer out of my mouth. What a joke.

 

Shannon Moore isn't a new guy at all. He was in WCW in the dying days and was Matt Hardy's flunky when Hardy was on Smackdown and Moore and the Hardys all came up in the biz together. This "reject" gimmick he did is stupid, even Golddust was a better shock wrestler gimmick than his. I think he's passable as a wrestler, but he needs to be thrown back to Smackdown and battle Helms for the cruiserweight title, another 3 Count guy if I'm not mistaken.

 

Survivor Series PPV results:

World Heavyweight Championship: Batista over King Booker
John Cena/Lashley/Kane/Sabu/Rob Van Dam over Big Show/Finlay/Test/MVP/Umaga
First Blood Match: Ken Kennedy over Undertaker
Shawn Michaels/Triple H/CM Punk/Matt Hardy/Jeff Hardy over Randy Orton/Edge/Gregory Helms/Johnny Nitro/Mike Knox
Women's Championship: Mickie James over Lita
US Championship: Chris Benoit over Chavo Guerrero Jr.
Ric Flair/Dusty Rhodes/Sgt. Slaughter/Ron Simmons over Johnny/Kenny/Mikey/Nicky

I've heard a lot about the Undertaker-Kennedy match. Kennedy won, but UT absolutely worked him over after the match. That's what's called saving face right there. Undertaker needs to lose CLEAN and just do the freakin' job. The best part of his gimmick now is merely the entrance.