Random Thoughts

We've discussed a lot about the old days over the last couple days, so maybe it's time we brought back this classic thread.

I'll start with this.

My avitar of Jerry Falwell trying to cop a feel could be mistaken for Beano Cook.

 

.

 

Is he trying to cop a feel off of a goat? I learned in J-Law he likes to fuck goats.

Anyway, here's my dumb ass moment of the day. Got a bit chilly here in Bubbler's neck of the woods, so for the first time since I moved into my house, I wanted to turn on the heat. Having never had gas heat as an adult, I didn't know what the procedure was. So I go in my basement and I hear this ominous-sounding electrical click from the guts of the furnace. I call Mrs. Bubbler down and I'm like, "I think our furnace is fucked up." And she's like, "fucking great, don't touch it dumb ass, God knows what you'll screw up."

As ever, I totally ignored the advice and pressed on, going so far to turn the fuse off for the furnace and attempt to push the ill-behaving electrical wire BACK INTO ITS NON-EXISTENT SOCKET! Then I saw the gas on/off switch, the mouse in my head got off its lazy ass and started running, and it dawned on me that this electrical spark was the automatic pilot lighter.

Yep ... I'm a genius ... did I mention I'm raising two kids?

 

I love Netflix. I think it's a wonderful service that allows me to browse for what I'm interested in without having to sift through all the corporate crap on the shelves at the local Blockbuster. I also love that I can get two movies for the price of one from the said Blockbuster. And I LOVE the fact that there are no late fees. I love Netflix. It's so much easier, despite the fact that I live about 100 yards from said Blockbuster.

 

I love lesbian threesomes they are awesome.

 

I love table.

 

I don't know how I lived without DVR. I can barely stand to watch live TV anymore. If given a choice between sliced bread and DVR, I'll get out the knife and cut my own bread.

Come to think of it, why is sliced bread such a great invention? Sure, its handy not to slice it. But it is still bread. Why does sliced bread take precedence over sleep number beds, iPods, Al Gore's internet, microwave popcorn and PPV porn?

 

I'm with you. If you zap through the montages of lab work, you can watch an episode of CSI in about 26 minutes.

 

I like expressionistic movies and art. Does that make me fucked up?

 

Yes.

 

You are kidding right?

 

The point is, ladies and gentleman, that torture -- for lack of a better word -- is good.

Torture is right.

Torture works.