reilly column

I know you guys hate rick reilly, but i thought this was a decent one. thoughts?


http://sports.espn.go.com/espnmag/story?section=magazine&id=3653401

 

You get one on one time with a man with a good chance to be the next President and you're picking a fantasy football league team. Great idea, but why not use it to explore his decision-making process instead of using the "-blank-blank-blank. Check." construct?
Here's part of his column he wrote about Tom Brady in September of 2007 for SI. And realize He's probably only written 15 or so columns since then.
"I get so embarrassed having everybody looking at me," he says. "I just want to stop and go, 'What are you staring at?' "
Humility. Check.
"I mean, I'm just walking out the door, you know? And people follow me! I have to disguise myself now. I never go out without a hoodie on. My head is always down! I never make eye contact anymore! It's like I'm not even myself!"
True to yourself . Check.
The one person Brady has always wanted to meet is Tiger Woods, but he's never had the nerve to introduce himself, even after he was in Woods's gallery recently outside Boston.
Shy is cool. Check.
His rival for top QB in the league, Peyton Manning, has done every commercial short of adult diapers, but Brady has done almost zero, even though, with his looks and charm and game, he could sell pogo sticks to seniors.
"You realize you're turning down a lot of dough, yeah, but it's just not me. I'm just not going to go out and do a Chunky Soup ad.... Like that [MasterCard] ad Peyton did about, 'Cut that meat! Cut that meat!' -- our D-line yelled that every time he came up to the line. 'Cut that meat!' Man, I'm so glad I didn't do that one."
Integrity. Check.

 

If I liked one of Reilly's pieces, I'll go ahead and read the original story he cribbed from.

 

I'm guessing not many other writers have talked fantasy football with Obama, but I could be wrong.

That bastard. (Reilly, not Obama.)

 

I do not think too many people give a shit about what Obama thinks about fantasy football.

Reilly has been among the most overrated people in this business for years.

 

Not that anyone will give a crap, but here's an approach to Reilly's column I think is more reader friendly. I'm just using this as an example, an exercise in what a Reilly column would look like with a minimum of self-references and punchlines.

The guy waiting on the bus is looking over a list of names. Something he has grown accustomed to over the past two years. He may have some big decisions to make in the coming weeks filling out his team.
Today he's not thinking about a Secretary of State, a National Security Advisor or an Attorney General, Barack Obama is looking for a quarterback for his NFL fantasy league team.
Wall Street is melting down, he's running for President of the United States, and he's mulling the merits of Drew Brees and Carson Palmer and filling out the rest of his squad on a meager budget $50 million mythical dollars. Paging Hank Paulson.
(On ESPN.com's Gridiron Challenge, you get a mystical $50M to spend on a team.) Only Obama accepted the challenge. Admittedly, what does John McCain know about the NFL? He's from Arizona.
Assessing the Week 6 slate, Obama was focused. His situation room was his campaign bus, with three TVs tuned to ESPN. His dossier was the USA Today sports section.
Obama was sitting in a black leather swivel chair, reading the sports section. "Hey, man, I'll be with you in a second," he said to his guest. "I'm poring over the latest economic news."
He is taller, grayer and quicker to laugh than expected. Moves sort of like an athlete—cool and smooth. "Now, you're the expert," he began. "And I'll gladly be the junior partner in this, but I really think we should take Drew Brees. He could have a big week. Oakland's secondary is a wreck."
It was suggested Carson Palmer might help Obama shore up his poll numbers in Ohio.
"Man, this is more important than politics!" he insisted. "This is football!"
We paid $7.3M for Brees, $6.6M for Clinton Portis and $5.7M for Brandon Marshall. Obama is very persuasive and manages to get his way without leaving hard feelings. And he is very astute.
Turns out, he played a little. He was a tight end in ninth grade until a coach told him to "trample" an opponent's back. He gave up football for hoops. In 2004, when Mike Ditka considered running against him for Senate, Obama—remembering how Ditka let William Perry score a Super Bowl TD instead of Walter Payton—said that "anybody who would give the ball to Refrigerator Perry instead of Sweetness doesn't have very good judgment." Ditka didn't run. "Too bad," Obama says. "We were hoping he would."
It took 30 minutes to pick nine slots. The man was into it.
But his day job beckoned. In a dark tunnel under Fifth Third Field in Dayton for a campaign event. He was telling a story about throwing out a first pitch when suddenly he was interrupted by the PA system, "… the next president of the United States, Barack Obama!"
"Gotta go!" he said, and sprinted up some steps to a thunderclap of a roar.
Later, he wondered about how his team would fare. Would it win?
"Win?" I said. "There's like a gazillion teams in this thing!"
He glared a hole in me. "You think we're just messing around?"
Then Sunday came. Man, did he get lucky, the Branch Rickey kind of lucky. The guys he chose—Brees and Portis—went nuts. Those he argued against, not so much. He finished 32,190th for the week. But wait! That put us in the 81.2 percentile, which means he beat four out of five teams!
Obama didn't need anyone to tell him how he did. Because, like so many Americans, he was checking the fantasy stats all day, even while he was supposed to be prepping for his final debate. He e-mailed to say he wished he had opted for Bernard Berrian (who smoked Marshall), but he was "pumped up" about the numbers.
He may be dealing with bigger numbers, real numbers, and a real budget in the future. And his challenges will likely take more than 30 minutes to solve. But if you take away one thing from Obama, it is likely this:
On the goal line in the Super Bowl, he would have given the ball to Sweetness.

 

That works for me, Dan. Great job.

 

Did anybody else catch that Reilly mentioned in the column he got re-married? On a Tuesday?
Who gets married on a Tuesday?

Oh, and good column, except for the "trait. check." crutch, which he has used too many times.

 

I got married on a Tuesday.

I think she left me on a Saturday.

 

I was hoping you'd show up with that. Even thought about adding a "Cue spnited ..." kicker. As to the other, I wish I could disagree, but I didn't bother subscribing to ESPN:Mag when he moved.

 

I got married on a Tuesday. Got a problem with that?