She lost her virginity twice

Boots would be in heaven if ...

 

Post of the day, right there ...

 

I wondered the same issue when I was typing 'clitorises.' Clitorii?

 

Poor Andrew Dice Clay. This woman renders his whole act obsolete.

"Two tits two holes and a heartbeat, that's all I need."

 

Speaking of holes ...

I was in a group with four other guys at a real classy joint in San Antonio a few years back when a chick who'd just wiped her chin from blowing my buddy by the pool table looks at us and says, "I've got three holes and two hands, I'll take you all home right now."

No. Shit.

 

You're far too kind. I was cringing in anticipation of the four-second joke.  

Edit: Note to self: If 3Bags ever invites me to a party, ACCEPT!!!

 

Damn. That girl makes me look chaste.

 

Yeah. She was a really nice girl. 

 

The funniest part about the whole thing was this kid in the group. I was sitting in a chair and he was standing behind me to my left.

When she propositioned us, he started stuttering and began to tap me on the shoulder and mutter, "three_bags, call a cab. three_bags, call a cab."

 

Tell us the truth.

The nickname "Three Bags Full" was hers, wasn't it?

 

Soda, meet keyboard. Keyboard, meet soda.