SJ.COM All-purpose dating thread

[CUinthenewsroom]

Man, I wish I could offer some advice, but I definitely don't understand women either.

Just talk to her about it. Find out for sure either way, otherwise it might eat at you.

 

[dreunc1542]

Yeah, that's really where I'm at at this point. I just want to talk to her so I can get some closure if we're through. Because, frankly, I have enough friends and I wasn't looking for just another friend when I drove four hours to see her.

 

[AMacIsaac]

Man, I wish I could offer some advice, but I definitely don't understand women either.

Just talk to her about it. Find out for sure either way, otherwise it might eat at you.

Random thought: If you were gay or a woman, do you think you would understand men?

 

[RossLT]

Man, I wish I could offer some advice, but I definitely don't understand women either.

Just talk to her about it. Find out for sure either way, otherwise it might eat at you.

Random thought: If you were gay or a woman, do you think you would understand men?

heck no.

 

[sportschick]

Man, I wish I could offer some advice, but I definitely don't understand women either.

Just talk to her about it. Find out for sure either way, otherwise it might eat at you.

Random thought: If you were gay or a woman, do you think you would understand men?

Somebody should write a man-to-woman dictionary.

 

[CUinthenewsroom]

Man, I wish I could offer some advice, but I definitely don't understand women either.

Just talk to her about it. Find out for sure either way, otherwise it might eat at you.

Random thought: If you were gay or a woman, do you think you would understand men?

Hmmm... interesting question. Probably not, I suppose isn't the sex of the individual but the potential feelings/emotions/tension that cause confusion.

 

[Sam Mills 51]

I've officially given up. I'm gonna get a third cat and become a crazy cat lady.

You need to get a third cat for that?

<3 you!

Here's the thing: I can't figure men out and I can't understand the women who stay with some men. Where do you go from here?

I'm declaring myself asexual. No way I could be a lesbian because benches are crazy.

Don't give up, ladies. It's when you think it's all over that you sometimes find that person.

Yes, I'm serious. And I'm only mostly crazy.

 

[Sam Mills 51]

I apologize in advance for the long post. I've had a shirtty month in the dating department. A while back on this thread I mentioned that I was going out on a first date with a girl. Well that girl ended up being just about batshirt crazy and too clingy within like a week of when we started dating. So I broke things off a couple days before my spring break, which was nice because it allowed me to just go to NYC, watch some basketball, hang out with family and friends and not worry about dating stuff.

Well, the Thursday night I was in NYC I couldn't get tickets to the night session of the Big East Tournament and instead went to Brooklyn with my friend to meet up with his gf and her best friend. I hit it off instantly with the friend and we danced together the whole night at the bar until it closed around 230.

*Side note: That was the night of the 6 OT Cuse-UCONN game and so while dancing I was also texting my best friend from home to get updates on the game and I was kind of pissed that I missed it. IJAG also texted me about the game, but when I texted back that I was dancing with a girl she told me to stop being an idiot and stop texting her

Anyway, back to the girl. So I got her number at the end of the night and we texted all night on Friday but she was exhausted from work and couldn't go out. Instead, we met up for lunch on Saturday since I was leaving soon after that. The lunch went well and when we got to the subway station I was unsure and just went for a hug, but she pulled my face in and gave me a goodbye kiss. At this point I felt pretty good about how things were going.

From there, we talked every day for the next two weeks and really seemed to have a connection. The only thing that sucked was the four hour drive in between us. It happened to work out, though, that my roommate was going down to NYC last weekend for teacher certification tests and so it was a perfect opportunity for me to visit this girl for a day and actually get to hang out in person. So I went down and while she was a little tough to read during parts of the night, things ended up going really well. I stayed at her place and we made breakfast in the morning and in general I was happy with my decision to go see her.

I got back Saturday night, but she was with her family from Saturday through Sunday so I didn't hear much from her beyond a few texts, which was fine. But then I didn't hear from her all Monday despite the fact that I left her a message saying that I had a great time and hope she did as well and that I liked her and wanted to see where things would go. On Tuesday morning I woke up and she IM'd me said straightaway that she just wanted to be friends. Her reasoning being that we were far away and each busy finishing up our last month at college. I'm fine with that because it is sound reasoning since we don't know where we'll be after school.

However, it's not like she said that she likes me and would be willing to see where things go if we end up in the same place after graduation. Reading between the lines it seemed like she only sees me as a friend, but that's definitely not the impression I got from the night I was in the city. She had to run, so I couldn't get more of an explanation and then when I tried to talk to her that night she didn't respond. I talked to her briefly online on Thursday but didn't have time to really press the issue and get more of an explanation. If this is the way she felt the whole time then she should have told me so I didn't waste my time visiting her. And if this was a new development, then I want to know what changed between me leaving and Tuesday when she said she just wanted to be friends. The moral of the story, I still don't understand women at all.

When you try to stop understanding them, you'll be better off. Believe it.

 

[buckweaver]

Sam's right. When you find someone worth the effort -- maybe this one is, and maybe it's not -- focus on accepting her for who she is, instead of trying to necessarily understand her. People are complicated, even the good ones. And people are often irrational, especially those in relationships.

Another important point, related to the effort: live your life for YOU, and find someone who fits into it. That way, while you're dealing with the necessary drama of a beginning relationship, you won't waste your time trying to make too many adjustments for someone who's ultimately not worth it. You're still living your life, and people will bounce in or bounce out. The good ones will adjust to you, and you won't hesitate to adjust for them.

But if you're living your life for you, you won't even have to think about that. It'll come naturally.

 

[AMacIsaac]

Man, I wish I could offer some advice, but I definitely don't understand women either.

Just talk to her about it. Find out for sure either way, otherwise it might eat at you.

Random thought: If you were gay or a woman, do you think you would understand men?

Hmmm... interesting question. Probably not, I suppose isn't the sex of the individual but the potential feelings/emotions/tension that cause confusion.

Or the lack of directness in people's words in combination with the wont to overanalyse and read between the lines.

 

[Sam Mills 51]

Man, I wish I could offer some advice, but I definitely don't understand women either.

Just talk to her about it. Find out for sure either way, otherwise it might eat at you.

Random thought: If you were gay or a woman, do you think you would understand men?

Hmmm... interesting question. Probably not, I suppose isn't the sex of the individual but the potential feelings/emotions/tension that cause confusion.

Or the lack of directness in people's words in combination with the wont to overanalyse and read between the lines.

Preach.

 

[NoOneLikesUs]

Yeah, that's really where I'm at at this point. I just want to talk to her so I can get some closure if we're through.

You're through. She's stated she wants to be friends, so that's ballgame. Don't expect closure. Don't expect an explanation. Just move on.