SJ.COM All-purpose dating thread

Man, I wish I could offer some advice, but I definitely don't understand women either.

Just talk to her about it. Find out for sure either way, otherwise it might eat at you.

 

Yeah, that's really where I'm at at this point. I just want to talk to her so I can get some closure if we're through. Because, frankly, I have enough friends and I wasn't looking for just another friend when I drove four hours to see her.

 

Random thought: If you were gay or a woman, do you think you would understand men?

 

Hell no.

 

Somebody should write a man-to-woman dictionary.

 

Hmmm... interesting question. Probably not, I suppose isn't the sex of the individual but the potential feelings/emotions/tension that cause confusion.

 

Don't give up, ladies. It's when you think it's all over that you sometimes find that person.

Yes, I'm serious. And I'm only mostly crazy.

 

When you try to stop understanding them, you'll be better off. Believe it.

 

Sam's right. When you find someone worth the effort -- maybe this one is, and maybe it's not -- focus on accepting her for who she is, instead of trying to necessarily understand her. People are complicated, even the good ones. And people are often irrational, especially those in relationships.

Another important point, related to the effort: live your life for YOU, and find someone who fits into it. That way, while you're dealing with the necessary drama of a beginning relationship, you won't waste your time trying to make too many adjustments for someone who's ultimately not worth it. You're still living your life, and people will bounce in or bounce out. The good ones will adjust to you, and you won't hesitate to adjust for them.

But if you're living your life for you, you won't even have to think about that. It'll come naturally.

 

Or the lack of directness in people's words in combination with the wont to overanalyse and read between the lines.

 

Preach.

 

You're through. She's stated she wants to be friends, so that's ballgame. Don't expect closure. Don't expect an explanation. Just move on.