Sports Parenting once again run amok

You'll love this.

And when I say, "love," I mean the kind of love best expressed by puking in your own mouth.

The dad of two brothers who are incoming freshman football players at our school presented us freshman coaches with a highlight DVD of his two boys, starting with their exploits as 4th Grade flag football players. Complete with background music and on-screen text (to make sure the viewer knew exactly which kids we should watch), the DVD runs for 20-plus minutes.

Sigh … I don’t know where to begin.

I mean … no one begrudges a proud dad of the joy of making a home movie about his talented, athletic sons. But this guy doesn’t realize that he has already put his boys – who appear to have decent talent, by the way – into a touchy situation with their soon-to-be coaches.

First, we’re already anticipating that he’s going to be a pain in the you-know-what, and we’ll have to work extra hard to prevent ourselves from subconsciously holding that against his kids. Along the same lines … we find it distasteful (if not utterly repulsive) that a dad would try so hard to promote his kids above other incoming players.

The other kids on the team already know about the DVD, so that’s not going to help.

And worse yet, the varsity coaches know about it.

I know this is all wishful-thinking rhetoric … but for heaven’s sake, parents, keep your highlight videos at home and let your kids prove themselves to their coaches and teammates on the field.

Excuse me. I believe my stomach is telling me something.

 

I'm glad my track runners parents' don't do these things.

 

You're going to cost those kids a scholarship, OldSchool.

 

Father spells T-R-O-U-B-L-E for the next four years

Hell, just cut the kids from the team.

 

Freshman kid whose Dad is a Steve Sabol-wannabe. You're cut.

Freshman kid with the hot mom. You stay.

Freshman kid whose Dad is a pain in the ass. You're cut.

 

The proper method reporters should use when picking All-Stars. ;D

 

The lesson here is don't make a highlight video of your kid and present it to his freshman coaches.

Do what I do. Make a YouTube video and send links to his freshman coaches.

Lot cheaper, and it will probably go viral when Ace Jr. lights up the screen.

 

Yet ...

 

so how did the other kids on the team know about the video?

 

You're covering track this year? That's good news!

 

I wish. More like teaching uncoordinated high schoolers how to hurdle without killing themselves.

 

I was thinking of the Simpsons episode where Homer cuts everyone in the closing credits.