Tell me something that's good about being single

[Dick Whitman]

I'm 50. I kicked psychological pressure and peer pressure to the curb three decades ago.

Well, I do want to look good and live a long time for my wife.

 

[jr/shotglass]

Not so sure I'd dig being single again.

Sadly, I think I'd feel sorry for myself a good bit if I were to be single again.

 

[jlee]

The best part about being single is that you're not in a relationship that doesn't fit. That's worse than any loneliness or yearning a life of bachelorhood might bring about.

 

[jr/shotglass]

Well, yeah ... except it's quite possible that one might find a relationship that fits.

 

[BTExpress]

Well, I do want to look good and live a long time for my wife.

Who says eating differently automatically means one's good and the other's bad?

She eats many more "good" things than I do. She also eats more sweets than I do. Should I join her in that package of donuts?

I don't smoke, don't drink and play tennis every day. The Terminator would envy my immune system. She doesn't smoke, doesn't drink and only exercises when I can drag her away from her sewing and onto the tennis court.

So who's "right"? Or more to the point, who cares as long as people are healthy and happy?

 

[Mystery Meat II]

I would never date anyone who would think I was good enough to date them.

 

[Dick Whitman]

Well, I do want to look good and live a long time for my wife.

Who says eating differently automatically means one's good and the other's bad?

She eats many more "good" things than I do. She also eats more sweets than I do. Should I join her in that package of donuts?

I don't smoke, don't drink and play tennis every day. The Terminator would envy my immune system. She doesn't smoke, doesn't drink and only exercises when I can drag her away from her sewing and onto the tennis court.

So who's "right"? Or more to the point, who cares as long as people are healthy and happy?

I don't follow.

 

[YankeeFan]

I'm not wired to live the single life. My days of attending concerts, going to games and altering myself to various extents and degrees on a whim are a distant memory. And thank God they are. I had some good times when I was single, but mostly I felt like I barely existed, and some days I wished I didn't. Taking nothing away from those who find happiness being single, being a husband and father means more to me than any freedom I have sacrificed. As a wise songwriter once said, "Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose."

I'm glad it has all worked out for you. Quoting Kris Kristofferson aside. ;D

However, as cheesy as it sounds, being single again is giving me the chance to not alter myself, but find myself again. We were so far into the "us" thing, we forgot about the "me and you" thing, if that makes sense. That's probably why it failed. We lost our individuality, or at least I did.

Creosote, this is key. You sound like you're not in favor of ending the relationship, but if one side wants out, there's something unhealthy about it.

Use this time to work on you. You can be selfish. You should be selfish.

Ending a relationship isn't easy, but it can be a relief. There's a lot of pressure & stress in a bad relationship. It will depress you, get you in a rut, and alter your personality.

So, get your groove back. Find your sense of humor. Get the weight off your shoulders.

When you're ready, and when you're feeling confident about yourself, dating will come naturally.

 

[Care Bear]

I think a solid combination of married and single is probably best.

 

[YankeeFan]

Creosote, this is key. You sound like you're not in favor of ending the relationship, but if one side wants out, there's something unhealthy about it.

Use this time to work on you. You can be selfish. You should be selfish.

Ending a relationship isn't easy, but it can be a relief. There's a lot of pressure & stress in a bad relationship. It will depress you, get you in a rut, and alter your personality.

So, get your groove back. Find your sense of humor. Get the weight off your shoulders.

When you're ready, and when you're feeling confident about yourself, dating will come naturally.

I don't think I ever had a "groove" to begin with. This is what I look like:

Confidence is the key. Women can smell the fear on you, but are attracted to confidence.

This is why you need to use this time to work on yourself before plunging into the dating pool. If you try, before you are ready, you'll fail, and lose confidence.

As for dating advice, I'll take a stab:

-- Talk to people. Don't be weird or annoying, but just talk to people. Don't try to pick up women, just engage them in conversation. If the conversation turns out lively, or funny, Tell them you'd like to continue it at a later date, and ask for the phone number.

-- Flirt a little. With everybody. If you're out of practice, and/or not comfortable doing it, practice. On everyone. Grandmas, cashiers, everyone. You'll get better at it.

-- Ask someone out. Just do it. You don't have to view them as a prospect for marriage. You just need a date, and the experience/practice of asking someone out. So do it. The worst thing that happens is they say no. Second worst is a bad date. So what? You'll get better at it, and you won't miss the opportunity when you do meet someone you're truly interested in. It's just like going on some job interviews to prepare you for the really important one.

-- Don't underestimate yourself. Don't think anyone is "too good" for you. You have nothing to lose. Realizing this is very freeing. It allows you to be funny and confident.

 

[YankeeFan]

Sounds like you'll be fine then.

I still say practice, though. Whether it's just engaging in conversation or full out flirting. You may have the confidence, but the practice will make the awkwardness go away.

 

[jr/shotglass]

Sounds like you'll be fine then.

I still say practice, though. Whether it's just engaging in conversation or full out flirting. You may have the confidence, but the practice will make the awkwardness go away.

Married men: Don't take this advice.