A few of my favorites from interviews with coaches/players:
"This kid comes up bitching about playing time. Playing time? Are you forking kidding me? I have a football team of 12 players. Thank God for this place because there's absolutely no way he'd play anywhere else. Playing time?"
High School golfer who won the state championship... "I don't know what it is about me, but I find a way to put my balls in small holes." I fell over laughing while he looked at me like I was crazy.
Basketball player had 12 steals in a game. Coach's quote after the contest, "Yeah such and such is good with those steals. Damn shame we might have him the rest of the year because he thinks he has to steal both on and off the court."
Team comprised of mostly black kids is playing an all-white team.
one assistant coach says, "Hey, let's take a survey of the number of Beamers and Lexus in the parking lot."
another assistant looks off in the distance and sees of one their kids trying to get into one.."It looks like (joe blow) is already doing that and he likes that one."
team beats a school for the deaf and blind. head coach after the game, "Well, that was like taking candy from a baby. I mean, they couldn't see you coming."
baseball coach wins state championship game and says, "Shy of getting a divorce, this is the happiest I have been."