The demise of "Thank You" (a rant)

Same here -- a habit my wife is trying to make me stop.

 

Huh? And why is that? Because they consider themselves above it all?

Seriously, why not?

 

I got thanked at Starbucks today (different one than the other non-thank you one earlier this week) by both the cashier and the barista.

 

Get them all the time, man. It's great. Or, it would be great. But they're all wrong numbers. Eh. It's the trying that counts. And Passy, thanks for the shout. Harkes, by the way, says you're a great leader on the pitch with drive and skill he hasn't seen in some years.

 

Folks have consistently complemented me and Mrs WHA on WHA Jr's proper manners. From holding doors open to assisting elderly folks at the market, he's well versed in the impact such actions have. 1 out of three times we get "Wow, what a nice boy- You don't see that much anymore" Like Mic Guy says, for good lord it's not a big deal. Wonder how many parents don't stress that 80%??

 

Zeek=nuts??...how long did the surgery take my man?

 

I did that today for the bus driver who spends his days during Giants training camp bringing people back and forth all day in a bus with no a/c in ungodly heat. Who wants to do that? My 16-year old brother, raised by the same parents as I was, has no concept of thank yous or pleases. Drives me CRAZY!

 

Not meant to be funny. When I'm doing it, I'm being an asshole. Completely different thing.

 

Points to ponder:

* There's a delicious ... irony? poeticness? inadvertent humor? ... in watching people bemoan the lack of politeness with one hand and think up impolite responses with the other.

* Catherine Zeta-Jones is hot (sorry, T-Mobile ad just came on).

* At Cracker Barrel, we are told to always say "thank you" but never "have a nice day". Why? Apparently they believe that nobody really believes you when you say have a nice day. Of course, the customers ("guests") likely aren't paying attention to what you say because it becomes an automation, regardless of what you say. Which leads to ...

* At this point, I'd rather hear nothing than a thank you done purely out of reflex or begrudging obligation. Saying "thank you" when I know you don't mean it or don't really care is the equivalent of the laugh track to a comedian. Does anyone know what "you're welcome" means other than "that's the thing you say when someone says "thank you" to you? Does anyone really think you want God to bless them just because they blew a load of sneeze juice into the air? I get and appreciate the point about common civility, but the answer isn't lifeless, color-by-numbers reaction done for no reason other than, well, you're supposed to.

* What's the deal with standing up as a show of respect? Maybe I'm a heathen fucker, but I've always wondered about a lot of what are considered conventions of respect. How do they come about? What do they specifically mean? Why does the sight of my dandruff-ravaged hair denote a higher level of respect than that of the top of my Yankees cap?

 

And what is the deal with that airline food?

 

I just wanted to throw in my female perspective on this.

The hold-the-door-I'm-walking-in-behind-you situation aside, behavior like this has always made me very uncomfortable. Perhaps it's my independent streak or my tomboy upbringing, but I don't like being singled out or treated differently just because I'm a woman.

Manners are one thing, and of course common courtesy is underrated. But there are situations - in particular work-related settings where I'm often the only woman - where I don't want to be singled out. And when I was younger I saw it as a non-verbal condemnation of the 'weaker' sex.

However, I have come to realize that men can feel emasculated when this behavior is rejected. I've really made an effort to not get upset or ruffled when a guy opens a car door or waits for me to go through a door. Thank goodness keyless entry has made the car thing an almost non-issue.

 

Call me old-fashioned, but in formal situations, greeting someone while remaining seated is a sign of disrespect. It shows you value their arrival/presence so little that you won't even expend the brief effort to stand up and greet them.

I grew up in the midwest, but my dad was from the Dirty South. When I was a youngster, I remember visiting some of his family, and this 95-year-old great uncle who was practically on life support made great effort to stand up whenever someone entered the room (especially a woman). It made a great impression on me.

Informal situations, especially with friends, are a different story.