The demise of "Thank You" (a rant)

I'll open doors for anyone, and I've never understood women being offended by it. Almost as mystifying as someone being offended by "no problem". I probably say it more than "you're welcome." The demise of "please" is as troubling as the demise of "thanks"

 

I'm a feminist - everybody knows that.

And yet, I love having the door held for me. It makes me feel special, and yeah, pretty. I'm a woman - can't help it. It also makes me think highly of the man who holds the door - kind of a throwback thing. He's the big, strong man - the way it should be.

Growing up Southern, Mom and Dad put an emphasis on manners. Things like... not allowed to say, "I hate.." anything. Had to say, "I don't care for squash."

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I was at Fenway recently, and a security guard offered to watch our equipment while we grabbed something to eat. I said, "Thank you so much - Now, what's your name? " I wanted to be able to use his name next time I saw him. He told me his name was Mike.

When we got back from dinner, Mike told me he couldn't get us any special access to players or anything like that. I said, "I didn't think you could!"

Then he said, "What do you want from me?"

"Why would I want something from you?"

After a few minutes it came out: Because I'd politely asked him his name, he though that meant I wanted something from him. We talked for a little while and realized it was a cultural thing. He'd grown up in Boston - I'd grown up in Atlanta.

The unfortunate lesson for me: Tone down the manners so a non-mannered world won't misinterpret them.

 

With all due respects to your mom, "I don't care for murder" or "I don't care for mean people" doesn't quite have the same ring. And, I care for squash a lot.

 

Not to change the subject, but that reminds me of a riddle: What does a man do standing up, that a woman does sitting down and a dog on three legs?
Shake hands.