The Goofus and Gallant guide to journalism

http://poynter.org/forum/view_post.asp?id=11507

 

Goofus sees a list of common journalism mistakes posted by the Poynter Institute and thinks, "Hey, that sounds familiar."

Gallant sees a list of common journalism mistakes posted by the Poynter Institute and thinks, "Hey, that sounds like copyright infringement you pedantic, condescending, plagiarizing gasbags."

 

Goofus sees a political topic on SportsJournalists.com and posts a hate-filled diatribe with threats, suggestions of how the object of the diatribe could have his/her orifices filled and lots of cuss words.

Gallant sees a political topic on SportsJournalists.com and posts a hate-filled diatribe with threats, suggestions of how the object of the diatribe could have his/her orifices filled and uses &*#@^ instead of cuss words.

 

Goofus sees a major-league baseball player with inexplicably fast-growing muscles and back acne and doesn't ask any questions.

Gallant sees a major-league baseball player with inexplicably fast-growing muscles and back acne and doesn't ask any questions.

/Dedicated to Jeff Pearlman

 

That's so wrong. Gallant would offer his Clearasil.

 

Goofus always seems to be filing that story about some trend that actually ended about two weeks before the story gets published ...

 

Gallant would ask the inventor of the sex robot what his inspiration was.

Goofus would ask the inventor of the sex robot for permission to do a first-person story.

 

Goofus, confronted with an early deadline for a column that's supposed to be written at a big event after his section prints, just writes a column filled with details as if he was there.

Gallant ... doesn't.

 

Goofus reads Poynter religiously and pursues all of the tips as if they are relevant to the readers.

Gallant doesn't waste time with Poynter because he/she knows its true agenda: To get people to attend its seminars.

 

Goofus is so obsessed with his cult of self that every column he writes is an exercise in vanity -- and everyone knows it.

Gallant writes of troubles and troubled people, but stays off to the side and lets the story take center stage.

Goofus leafs through a design showbook, steals someone else's idea and accepts credit for it.

Gallant doesn't want to reinvent the wheel, but he does want to be incomparable.

Goofus' prose hops up and down on the page like Daffy Duck and screams "LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME! I'M WRITING!!"

Gallant's prose neither screams nor whispers, but compels and impels.

 

Did you know that Highlights came out with it's billionth magazine this month?

Great magazine. And my kid loves it as much as I loved it.

 

Goofus doesn't have room to store all his APSE column writing awards.


Gallant is still trying to get on at The Plain Dealer, dammit! :'(