The SJ.com Style Guide, version 3.0, part II

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Official statement of condolence: What the board tries to come up with to summarize a person upon his death. Usually serious, sometimes sarcastic. Founded by Boom_70.

Old dickhead: SportsJournalists.com's universal term of endearment for the late, great Spnited.

Outing: The act of revealing a poster's true identity on the board. When done by the poster him/herself, it's a perfectly fine act. When done by another posting, it's an act of treason to the board. See also, Outings, group (D.C., Toronto)




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Pancake Bunny: Used when thread and/or post makes little sense. Often done for shits and giggles when said poster has "an idea of what you're talking about." Random pets (example: Murphy the Dog) may take the place of Pancake Bunny if proficent at Adobe Photoshop.

Pathetitard: A putdown that is derived from "pathetic retard."

Penn Station: Scene of mythical fight between two SportsJournalists.com posters in 2002.

pickle juice: Board member who asked for the keys to the kingdom by inquiring about how one would jump from selling steak knives to cover the Miami Dolphins. Was roundly excoriated in a thread that was too long for its own good and taken way too seriously by no small number of posters.

Pictures, this thread is useless without: Used when a thread refers to a woman, hot or not, but does so without posting masturbatory material for the SportsJournalists.com members who aren't getting laid. (Note: Often said in jest.)

pho-real: A now-defunct poster who may or may not one day be arrested for stalking LeBron James. Showed up one day and started creating thread after thread dedicated to fellating the Cavs superstar. Also possessed perhaps the worst grammar and spelling in SportsJournalists.com history. Proclaimed to be a high school senior and soon-to-be premed student at the University of Michigan at Ann Arbor, but believed by most to be the alter-ego of a long-time SportsJournalists.com member.

Poin File: Media report about a female teacher hooking up with a male student. Must include photo of said teacher. Bonus points if all participants are female.

Post pad: To post messages at an astounding rate, often for no reason other than to "pad" statistics. In no way linked to Ricky "wrong basket" Davis.

Pussycat: The replacement for the only banned word on SJ I know of.

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RIP (fill in the blank): Sarcastically coined by Poindexter in response to a spate of sympathetic threads honoring dead celebrities. For instance, if Larry Flynt dies, Poindexter will say "RIP Smut God."

RIP (your name here): A thread title to commemorate those who have gone before us. Sometimes used in respect (see "Woods, Earl"), sometimes used in contempt (see "Lay, Ken.") Mostly used for deaths, but also can be used for jumping the shark moves (see "Chung's career, Connie") or sinking into mediocrity (see "Braves".) ... Note: Please don't confuse us with an "RIP Steve Martin" thread title if you're not talking about the wild and crazy guy. Because that won't end well ...

Release the Hounds! A signal to the board's less tactful crowd -- wait, isn't that everyone? -- that someone has posted something controversial and/or stupid and it's time to take your best shot.

Running, all-purpose thread: Catch-all thread devoted (originally) to a single topic, usually a sport outside of the Big 3 American pro sports (hockey, auto racing, soccer, etc.) Offshoots also spring up to cover special events such as a championship game or entertainment awards show. These types of threads are designed to reduce the clutter of multiple threads on the same topic and let people who dislike the topic under discussion avoid it without poisoning discourse. They seldom achieve either purpose.

Rush: A band that sucks.

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STFU: Shut The Fuck Up. Very rarely used on its own. For instance, if Moddy and I are fighting (again), it's not enough just to say STFU!!! It's more like "Chug A Bottle Of STFU, asshole."

Shameless bump: The same as a bump, but always used after a bump hasn't done the trick.

She Who Cannot Be Named: Describes She Who Cannot Be Named.

Snakes on a Plane: Action-horror movie released in August 2006 starring Samuel L. Jackson which became an Internet and SportsJournalists.com phenomenon well in advance of its release. A scant mention of the words "snakes" or "motherfucking" is guaranteed to liven up a dying thread with follow-up posts containing numerous fake movie posters. Memorable quote from this movie: "I've had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!"

Splooge: See: Affleck, Ben; Cartman, Eric and right hand.

SportsJournalists.com Awards: Awards voted on by the membership at the end of each year in various categories. People either got into it or (a few) mocked it. They died out when people became too sensitive about them.
Starman Justice: Pays homage to Starman, who wants recidivist drug dealers, drug users, child molestors, murderers and Pete Rose dealt with in the most brutal and finalistic way possible.

State of the board thread: Thread somebody starts when they think the board is sucking or is in crisis, but usually not accompanied by solutions. Usually just gives Buck indigestion and makes for a funny thread that gets jacked 10 ways from Pluto.

Stickying a thread: A moderator making sure a thread won't move from the top of the first page. The most of those we've had at one time is six.

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Tahoe, 15 minutes from: Used to describe the location of every journalism job in America.

Thanks for checking in (insert name here): Standard retort when someone posts glowing praise for a colleague.

The Board Has Been Shut Down For Less Than This!!: Pays homage to the Daily News/Boston Globe issues which reportedly closed the original incarnation of this board. Used whenever a discussion gets out of hand. Or whenever Bonnie Bernstein is mentioned.

This sets up the rest of the season nicely: Standard, sarcastic review of latest disappointing episode of "The Sopranos." Used for any drawn-out series.

This thread won't end well: Phrase used after a controversial or inflammatory comment is made, especially one made out of context with the general discussion.

Thread-jack: Steering a thread toward a conversation completely different from which it was intended.
Threads of the Year: One of the SportsJournalists.com Award categories. Probably worth looking up if you don’t recall them.
--2003: Is There Such a Thing as Love?
--2004: Hustle's pregnant ex-girlfriend is an Internet porn model
--2005: The Mitch Albom thread.

tim: Former poster who thought no draft could be analyzed until five years had gone by.

Twatwaffle n., adj.: Originally lobbed by carrie toward DyePack, it takes the place of fucktard and pathetitard as the most cutting of SportsJournalists.com insults.

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Vitriol: Ad-hominem attacks on other posters. Used to be more frequent, believe it or not.

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What About the Waitresses: A 5-year-old reminder of jr/shotglass' stance early in the Jerry Sandusky case, in which he pointed out the potential effect to the State College community at large should Penn State football receive the death penalty. A Vombatus favorite.

When's Junction Boys on Again?: Standard rejoinder for any ESPN thread, or any nonsensical thread.
Wonderbat: SportsJournalists.com's bat of choice when they play softball. Spokesperson Stephanie registered one night to spam us about this bat. Several threads were started about various aspects of this person. We don't think any of the threads lasted the night.

Won't Somebody Think of the Children?: Often heard from a wailing Helen Lovejoy or whiners talking about the decline of society.

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You're hired!: term coined by SportsJournalists.com's king of the lower case, hoops mccann, in response to dorks who, unprovoked, tout their own abilities or ask the openings on job threads.

You are responding to an imaginary post: A Dick Whitman original. Used when the poster believes that the respondent is arguing against a point that said poster has not actually made.

 

Yes!!!

Edited for accuracy/clarity.

 

Done. It's your baby.

 

In before the lock.

 

haha, remember when Starman actually was 'famous' for that? Starman 2.0 was all about Trump supposedly fucking his daughter.

 

Good stuff ... although one obvious omission:

Poin File: Media report about a female teacher hooking up with a male student. Must include photo of said teacher. Bonus points if all participants are female.

 

The Poin Matrix:

 

Brad Renfro (1982-2008): Short-lived Hollywood actor who starred - and was great - in the "The Client" (1994). Recently, there has been some dispute as to whether or not Brad Garrett ("Everybody Loves Raymond" fame and suggested understudy to Javier Bardem in "No County for Old Men" would have been a better choice.

"Inarguable Among the Sane" (one of my personal favorites): Favorite phrase of former poster Simon Cowbell, used to describe an attempt by another poster to argue a seemingly irrefutable point.

"6" or "Solid 6": SJ.com bastardized use of the common 1-10 scale to describe a good-looking woman. SJ.com's scale uses 6 as its high-water mark for good-looking woman.

How 'Bout No Bear: A meme used to illustrate a poster to desire to NOT see - or unsee - things posted here, such as people's nasty-ass feet. Or incredible ugly wo-Man. Or Kate Upton (Cause's she's a fatty).

No. 7 at Pebble Beach: Quite possibly the most breath-taking par 3 golf hole in the world. An may or may not be located at: Augusta National, Hazeltine, St. Andrews, Oakmont, Pebble Beach and Pinehurst No. 2.

Sock Puppet: Another, anonymous, handle used by a regular poster to hide their identity, stir up trouble and attempt to cause mayhem on the board.

 

I should have put these into consecutive files under one post. I'm going to move all the stuff into Part I right now. Anything you want to save from comments, move over there, because I'm going to DTGDTN in about a half-hour to prevent confusion.

 

Wouldn't be: '... I'm going to DTGDTIAAH-H to prevent confusion.'

 

It looks like I can't DTGD anything ...

 

We're missing Ruben: Charleston, SC fan of Atlanta soccer matches. Poor grammar AND nuts - a somewhat infrequent SJ combination.