The Story of Your Life

The threadjack elsewhere about first crushes brought to mind mine. It turns out to be THE story of my life — meaning, it’s the story that crops up over beers with new friends that entertains them and me the most.

I’ll conclude by asking you for yours, but mine? It involves Marcia Brady.

For reals.

I was about 6 when The Brady Bunch was at its zenith and I never missed an episode, mostly to see my first crush, Marcia. Amazingly enough, I *needed* to know what she was up to each week because she would actually call me after the show and ask me! I’m not kidding, after each episode the phone would ring, my sister would answer, ask who it was, and hand me the phone with a wry, “TigerVols, Marcia’s calling for you…”

“Marcia! How’s your nose…”

Fast forward to the 90s and I’m talking to my sister and she mentions a friend and adds, “you remember her — she used to call you and pretend she was Marcia Brady.”

Well, I couldn’t have been more crushed than if a grand piano had fallen on me. For decades I had lived with the vague but warm recollection that Marcia Brady used to call me. Of course, had I actually stopped as an adult and thought about it, I would have realized it’s the memory of a gullible little brother. But the reality is, I never actually stopped to think about it. Thus, the lightning bolt.

Yet when I said it involves Marcia Brady for reals, I actually meant that. Because a couple of years after my sister’s revelation, while working in the country music journalism business, I had the opportunity to interview one miss Maureen McCormick, who was trying to be a county singer. Of course I was stoked, and naturally I led with this very story…only, unfortunately, it seems Maureen McCormick had experienced her share of creepy fans over the years and I suddenly had put myself at the top of the list, which I realized as she immediately grew cold as ice, gave curt answers…and shoe’d me out of the tour bus quicker than you can say, “Marcia! Marcia! Marcia!”

Now that you’ve heard mine…what’s the story of your life?

 

6 seems a little young to have a crush on a 6.