When part timers go bad

My buddy just got rid of his PTer at his shop. Basically, he had to re-write the guys stuff because it was so bad. He gave him numerous critiques to no success. He finally said, shape up or ship out and the guy got on HIM for "rewriting what was already fine." The PTer said his stuff was flawless and his original drafts were superior to my buddies rewrites.

This was a story from this spring...girls soccer. Try to follow along if you can.

Obviously this guy was not worth keeping around if this was his 'A' game:

*Names changed to protect the innocent...

Ladies’ Soccer – Team A edges Team B, 3 -1
By Writer Smith
Sports Reporter
TEAM B – Team A continued their dominance over the Broncos, Monday, after an early Team B flourish.
“We were frustrated at first,” Team A Forward Michelle Smith said. “but once we started playing together everything clicked.”
Team B opened the scoring eight minutes into the match on a Katie Davis crossing pass that a Team A (7-1-4, 6-0-3) defender cleared into her own net.
“We were on our own post,” Team A Coach John Paul Jones said. “Our defender tried to clear it. The best thing would have been to let the ball hit a leg and bounce away.
“She took a swing at it and it skated around the post and in the net.”
The goal did not phase the Eagles. The rest of the first half was played mainly in the Team B end.
With 28 minutes left, Team A’s Barbie Johnson barely missed a header. A corner by the Eagles’ Smith to Amanda Barnes was passed to Rollie Fingers who just shot it above the net.
Another corner with 10 minutes by Smith to Stephanie McMahon flitted above the top of the net. Two minutes later Fingers would fire a pass to Kyla Clark who shot it just wide of the Broncos’ goal.
The Eagles would tie the score with Team A with 5:50 remaining in the first. McMahon would cross the ball to Johnson who headed it past the Bronco goalie.
The teams would enter half time tied, 1-1.
“The first half we were a bit flustered,” Team B Midfielder Kayla Ahern said. “We knew they were tough on corners but we still didn’t play as well as we could have.”
“In the first half we did a very nice job of controlling the ball,” Coach Jones said. “This gave us a lot of good opportunities to take corners and make some good crossing passes.
“I told the girls at half time that besides a few adjustments we just needed to keep the same intensity or put it up a notch.”
The Eagles continued their pressure on the Broncos in the second half. Crosses and corners forced the Team B goalie to make save after save.
With 29 minutes left in the second half the Eagles took the lead on a pass from Smith to Johnson who floated a header above the goalie and into the net. It was Johnson’s second goal.
“Although we got off to a rocky start, “Halfback Johnson said, “we kept our heads up and started finishing the way we know we can.”
Team B attempted to climb in it 14 minutes later as Broncos’ Davis Washington intercepted an Eagles pass in her own end. She pealed around four defenders but as she advanced on the net a final Team A defender was able to clear.
Team A fired numerous corners at the Broncos who were able to deflect away each attempt until 7:15 remained in the game.
The Eagles’ Smith belted a corner and Paige Maurer deflected it into the Team B goal to end the scoring with Team A ahead 3-1. The Eagles would out shoot Team B 13 to 4.
“This game proved we could play against a very competitive team,” Coach Jones said. “We had the ability to finish balls in very difficult situations.
“Team B has an outstanding program. They have made the conference race very interesting. Team B is very capable of taking it to first-place Lutheran High.”
Team B Junior Ahern is confident of the Broncos finish.
“We have been getting more competitive with Team A,” she said. “We just weren’t able to finish today.
“Our goal is to do well in the districts. We are confident that we will do well.”
The Broncos have never defeated Team A. They tied the Eagles earlier in the year, 1-1.


Anyone have PT horror stories?

 

That is bad on so many levels that I can't imagine trying to edit it. That needs a "new document" created on the computer with no characters there to contaminate it.

Presumably your friend has the ability to replace this departed PT-er with someone else with a better "A-game". If so, you should put the listing on the Jobs board...

 

Not good, but not the worst I've ever seen. Had a guy one time who would submit prep football gamers as one block paragraph and always included which team won the coin toss within the first three sentences.

 

That's not good, but I've seen so, so much worse from non-FTers.

At a decent-sized paper, a regular but PT writer should be better than that, but I'd bend down and say a prayer of thanks if I got a stringer who could write that well at a podunk.

 

Isn't anyone concerned that Rollie Fingers is on a girls' high school soccer team? . That was really, really bad.

 

why the hell did he hire him in the first place?

 

Other than in the hed, where is the final score?

 

So .. your buddy's hiring? And is he anywhere in the Northeast?

(And yeah, that was worthy of a rewrite.)

 

I don't think the fact that the writer was a PTer or freelancer had much to do with his writing.

Just saying. Bad writing can, and does, come from full-timers, sometimes, too.

 

shouldn't this have been edited down to agate? i mean, c'mon, it's soccer. girls soccer. ;D

 

Try the well-meaning moron who e-mails Little League summaries in ALL CAPS.

 

You should delete that story, for more reasons than it's bad form to make fun of some part-time writer a paper where you don't even work.