Why do grandparents play favorites?

[kingcreole]

I can say this because I started this thread - can you jackwagons stop the 5-year-old bickering?

I know, I know. "But he started it!"

Shotglass - You are right, and the more I think about it, the more I'm inclined to let it slide. This time at least.

 

[BTExpress]

If 51 years on this planet have taught me one thing, it's that no matter how much "in the right" you are, people don't tend to change their behavior on request and oftentimes just dig in and get defensive when challenged that they are not behaving properly.

So other than the "Well, at least I got it off my chest" aspect of it, you have to ask yourself exactly what you hope to accomplish.

 

[Iron_chet]

If 51 years on this planet have taught me one thing, it's that no matter how much "in the right" you are, people don't tend to change their behavior on request and oftentimes just dig in and get defensive when challenged that they are not behaving properly.

So other than the "Well, at least I got it off my chest" aspect of it, you have to ask yourself exactly what you hope to accomplish.

Holy crap is that accurate. The ship has sailed on a relationship with my parents and I just could not be bothered to bring up issues with them that will really serve no good. They won't change.

When I finally realized this I became a lot happier.

 

[Buck]

Life is full of disappointments. The kids will be fine.

 

[Precious Roy]

Not on this same note, but it's a grandparents thing I just want to vent about since I can't openly scream at someone or even snidely do it on Facebook. I have to come to an anonymous message board to talk about it.
I am sick, like very sick, like the only reason I am at work today is because I HAVE to get the hours, so my mother said she would watch my son so I could sleep, get cleaned up and make sure not to give whatever this disease from the gates of Hades is to him. My wife couldn't watch him because she had to work today too (really sad on her first mother's day). Anyway, my wife picks up my child and my mother says to my wife that my father off-handedly mate a statement to the effect of "Well, are you going to have him all day? That's going to ruin your mother's day." My wife came home and had a breakdown, because we are just trying to get by with both of us working. Me getting sick really threw a wrench into plans as I couldn't take proper care of the child. I feel like if my child is a burden to them, that I should stop taking him over there and start finding some other means of day care while both my wife and I are at work. It just kills me because my wife took it very hard and I know that's not what my mom wanted to do when she told her what my father said. Is it just easier to tune everyone out and just do what you are doing or should you say something?

 

[Stitch]

Family can just suck sometimes. I don't want to spend another dime visiting family on the other side of the country because they think it's easier for me, my wife, and the kids to see everyone else in one trip. That sounds great on the surface, but when we are the ones spending a lot of money to see them. it gets old.

 

[YGBFKM]

Sometimes family doesn't suck. Sometimes, when you look at your young child and realize he and his dying grandfather will never be able to share their lives together, and his opportunities to ever get to know his grandmother are severely limited by time and circumstance, it breaks your heart. Breaks your forking heart. So while occasionally dealing with the drama inherent in being part of a family can be a pain in the ass, well, it's not the end of the world.

 

[Precious Roy]

Sometimes family doesn't suck. Sometimes, when you look at your young child and realize he and his dying grandfather will never be able to share their lives together, and his opportunities to ever get to know his grandmother are severely limited by time and circumstance, it breaks your heart. Breaks your forking heart. So while occasionally dealing with the drama inherent in being part of a family can be a pain in the ass, well, it's not the end of the world.

Thank you, I needed someone to say just that.

 

[jr/shotglass]

The timing is often not best for the grandparent-grandchild dynamic. Let's face it. At the point in time their lives bissect, the grandparents aren't at their best, and the grandchildren are not at their best.

I would have loved for my 25-year-old daughter to have spent time with my 45-year-old mother, but that meeting was a combined 60 years from ever happening.

 

[exmediahack]

Thread jack.

I just wonder when the grandparent doesn't sense the urgency.

For the past two years, I've been planning a surprise. This July, I will wake my son up on a Monday (he is 10) and say, "we need to go to batting practice.". Except this will be the batting practice before Home Run Derby at the All Star Game.

My father constantly bemoans the fact that I never loved within 500 miles of him since leaving for college.

Last year, I throw an olive branch and say, "Meet us in KC for a three generation visit". Last week, he says "sorry, I forgot to take that week off work.

I've only been reminding him for 18 months.

Perhaps it is a generational thing. I grew up watching him with all of the gadgets and crap but I never sensed he was truly happy.

I don't buy things. I prefer to buy experiences.

Just disappointed that, when my son is older, my dad won't have this moment to remember.

Thanks for letting me vent.