Why does Bruce Willis suck now?

Bruce Willis' new movie comes out around Thanksgiving. Sounds like the perfect time for a Death Wish remake. It's by Eli Roth, so you know it's gonna be super cool and ironic and gory.

The trailer basically turns into a comedy about a minute in, when Bruce drops a car on a guy who says, "You aren't gonna kill me?" to which Bruce answers, "No. Jack is."

It looks like it's going to be the latest in Bruce Willis suckfests that date back to 2012. Death Wish will be his 20th movie since Moonrise Kingdom, which was nominated for and received several awards. Six of them are direct-to-video. In one of them he made just a cameo. Rock the Kasbah was one of the worst reviewed movies in recent years. He hasn't done any television in years. He bombed on Broadway a couple years ago.

Roth is even saying he views this as a return to glory for Willis.

'Death Wish' Exclusive Photos: Eli Roth on His Aim to Bring Bruce Willis Back to Glory

Willis will probably have to wait until 2019's Split sequel to truly have a comeback. Most likely he's going to continue to suck.

 

John McClane gets a lifetime pass.

 

His WAR looks pretty good in the trailer.

 

I liked Looper, which was 2012.

I have a friend who worked on a Bruce Willis movie and said he was a colossal dick, even by Hollywood standards.

These are two thoughts that I've expressed out loud for no good reason.

 

Willis has been equally brilliant and awful for his whole career. I was reminded of this earlier today (before even seeing this thread) when I heard "Respect Yourself" by the Staples Singers on the radio and it popped into my head that, oh my god, Bruce Willis once did a cover of this.

 

Looper was his last good movie. It came out a couple months after Moonrise Kingdom, so he's sucked since then.

Looper is at 93% on Rotten Tomatoes. His next 14 movies after that add up to 158. (Not counting a couple documentaries that he's in for a minute.) Only two are over 40%. Even his lousy movies throughout the 200s hover around 50%.

Is he getting nice paychecks to make shit movies or what?

 

Kevin Smith was a HUGE Bruce Willis fan, and loved working with him in the latest Die Hard flick, then signed on to direct him in 2010's "Cop Out." He says directing Willis was "soul crushing."

From a story at the time:

Apparently, when shooting on Cop Out came to a close, Willis wasn’t in attendance for the wrap party, and Smith toasted the movie saying: "I want to thank everyone who worked on the film, except for Bruce Willis, who is a f*cking dick.”

 

30 years later, I still wish I was David Addison from "Moonlighting." He kinda gets a pass from me. Then again, I had a "Return of Bruno" poster in my bedroom as a teenager.
And no, I never got laid. I don't think those last two sentences are mutually exclusive.

 

I guess Die Hard 6 is in the chute: a prequel, in which Willis will appear.

If they can de-age Willis from his sixties to his thirties, more power to 'em.

 

"Moonlighting's" version of Taming of the Shrew was one of the best hours of television ever.

"WE HATE IAMBIC PENTAMETER!"

 

Moonlighting was pretty much awesome from beginning to end.

 

The fact he's made 14 movies in five years is pretty eye-popping. That's Samuel L. Jackson territory.

Willis would hardly be the first long-lived star to go through a prolonged slump. He's been an A-lister for, what, 30 years now?
Not saying his recent stuff is good, but I am saying it's not uncommon for someone with that sort of longevity and productivity to hit a stretch like this.