Worst lede ever

What is the worst lede you have had a writer at in your sports department try to hand in to you to edit?

This one just happened a couple of weeks ago where the guy was covering a regional swim meet. The local swim club basically dominated the meet with their two stars taking home a truck load of medals and records. He had the gall to write they "reeked of awesomeness".

 

I once had a stringer turn in a prep soccer preview that read something like this:

"The Joe Blow Athletic League boy's soccer season opens Tuesday with all eight teams hoping to make the playoffs."

Really?

There's not one team that's saying, "Gee, I hope we finish last. Last would be good. I could really get laid if we finished last."

Of course, this is the same guy who had a save-get key for every sport. In every basketball game, both teams used various zones and presses to disrupt the other team's offense.

Didn't matter if I knew one team never pressed, and the other only played man-to-man. They pressed and played zone in the game he was at, damnit.

 

In all of the infinite wisdom of my editor, one of our ad reps, who thinks he has some kind of writing talent, helps us during the first few weeks of the high school football season before the league play starts and teams are spread all over.

He consistently churns out such award winners as: "If someone penned a novel about Friday night's high school football game between East Crappyville and Crappytown Valley, the title would be "A Tale of Two Halves."

I wanted to cry when I read that.

 

Sirs, Madames,

The Senators spell relief T-U-G-N-U-T-T.

YHS, etc

 

ROFLMAO!!! That is just friggin' terrible.

 

From September 2005, in the Waukegan News Sun, shortly after Hurricane Katrina.

"Waukegan High School was New Orleans to Lane Tech's Hurricane Katrina as Lane shellacked the Bulldogs 52-6 on Friday night."

 

beautiful use of the word shellacked, though

 

That is spectacular.

 

This thread is pure gold.

 

Last year, a small daily or weekly in the Denver area, covered a high school vollyeball match. In volleyball, of course, one of the big stats, is kills. The lead was something along the lines of:

"Tuesday night at Blank High School, there was enough killing to rival the Rwandan massacre."

Also, last year, I was reading about Notre Dame football on a website. Can't for the life of me remember the site. Notre Dame was getting ready to play USC. The lead mentioned that in recent months, there had been hurricanes, floods, etc., but the USC offense does more damage than all of them combined.

Those were two of the most appalling leads I've ever read.

 

That "reeked of awesomeness" line is a pro wrestling catchphrase, I believe. Edge and Christian, IIRC.

 

One of my faves ...

It was a heartwarming site.
Two football teams, rivals just moments ago, united as one while medical personnel tended to BFE's Johnny Brokenneck.