You've Solved 21's Problem - Now I Could Use Your Help with Mine - UPDATED !!!

At the age of 14, my niece lost her father to a heart attack. She's 18 now and about to enter college. This kid is a super-achiever (not to mention a stunningly beautiful young lady -- in the ballpark of Elin Woods). When the tragedy happened, she dug in, worked even harder and will graduate at or near the top of her class at a large public high school in a big city. She has taken on many family burdens, including keeping tabs on her older brother and worrying about finances, which no teenager should have to do.

Her SATs were not great -- but she took it 3 times -- and raised her score every time.

Ever since her dad died, Mr. Lugs and I have upped the presence in her life (we were always close anyway.)

So when it came time to apply to colleges, we helped her with the application process.

Mr. Lugs is an alum of a very good public school in the state where she lives-- on the level of say, the University of Michigan. So Mr. Lugs writes a letter on her behalf which would bring a tear to even the most cynical among you. We sculpted and culled this letter for a week, fought over it (he was offended by my editing), and finally came up with something that truly captured what my niece has been through, how she dealt with it, and the strong, special person she is.

Then we worked with her for weeks on the essays for "Michigan"-- the three of us coming up with, in my mind, some brilliant twists.

After a week of me pacing the floor over whether or not she should apply early decision-- we decide to go for it.

Side note: As a safety, she applies to...... let's call it "Michigan State." A perfectly fine institution, but not ranked anywhere near "Michigan."

As we nervously await word, Mr. Lugs declares that if his alma mater does not accept our niece, he will no longer be able to root for "the Wolverines" in any sport.

Then, a couple of weeks ago-- she gets the news-- she's been accepted to "Michigan" - Yaaaaay !!!! (Incidentally, on the same day, she was accepted to "Michigan State.")

Here's the problem: Now she's making noise like she's going to "Michigan State."

AAAAaaaaggghhhhhhh.

What's her reasoning?
1) All the snobs at school who got accepted were wearing their "GO BLUE" crap the day after they got in, and she was put off by that.
2) Her best friend, who's been there for her the past few years, will attend "State."
3) We all want her (mom included) to go to "Michigan," therefore, she wants to do the opposite.

Bottom line: She's shown such grace and maturity these past few years, we all sort of forgot -- she's still a typical teenager in a lot of ways.

So now what do I do?

 

Re: You've Solved 21's Problem - Now I Could Use Your Help with Mine

Let her go to 'State.'

It's undergrad and that really shouldn't matter too much. Her true friend will be there, too. You can't go wrong with true friends.

And invite her over to watch the big game every year. You wear Blue, she wears Green and the loser does the dishes.

 

Re: You've Solved 21's Problem - Now I Could Use Your Help with Mine

Reason 4: p0wned by Ohio State in football every year

Anyone who wants nothing to do with the U of M sounds like they have all their marbles and then some. Do nothing.

 

Re: You've Solved 21's Problem - Now I Could Use Your Help with Mine

If you want to make one pitch as to why she should go to "Michigan," I think that's OK.

Once that's done, it's her call, her life, her college experience, and you just have to support her.

 

Re: You've Solved 21's Problem - Now I Could Use Your Help with Mine

Different people have different opinions about what my niece should do. She is highly intelligent, save for the fact that she wants to be a journalist. My role has been to buy college guides the past two Christmases, which her mom says she devours, same as her uncle at that age. She and her mom will fly here this summer and look at some schools before her junior year. I will drive them around, maybe show them a place or two that weren't in the plans. But I respect her maturity and intelligence, and the choice should be hers alone. I will attempt to hide the fact that I hope she chooses a school near me. The fact that she is a delight to be around should not enter into how I help, she should do what she feels is best for her.

 

Re: You've Solved 21's Problem - Now I Could Use Your Help with Mine


Luggie,

You should be proud of your niece and roll your eyes behind her back at her choice. College is what you make of it anyway, and sounds like she will make the most.

 

Re: You've Solved 21's Problem - Now I Could Use Your Help with Mine

Lugs,

I tried to send you a PM, but I'm not sure I got it to you. Am having sign-in issues, so I had to register under a new name. If you didn't get it, let me know and I'll try again.

The Poster Who Normally Goes by Montezuma's Revenge

 

Re: You've Solved 21's Problem - Now I Could Use Your Help with Mine

 

Re: You've Solved 21's Problem - Now I Could Use Your Help with Mine


You guys don't understand... ;D

How many of us thought our high school friends were "it"? And that high school was "it"?

Then you get to college right??

I don't want her to make a big mistake based on a friend who she'll probably hate by sophomore year.

This is a top, top college. She'd have a national degree, kwim?

Call me a "stage aunt," but it kills me to see her blow such a great opportunity.

Here's the topper: "Michigan" will meet 100% of her financial aid. "State" will only meet 80%.

It just doesn't make SENSE!