100 Cooking Tips

Oh, I don't know HOW many times that's happened to me.

 

103. Yes, lutefisk IS supposed to look like that.

 

You can substitute two parts milk, one part butter for heavy whipping cream. It works. Trust me. It has saved the day.

 

So to speak.

 

So nice of you all to say "neophyte cooks" when you really mean "idiots". And yes, I resemble that remark.

But I do know this: store your Saran Wrap in the freezer, because it doesn't stick to itself when it's cold. One less frustration to deal with.

 

94. When your girlfriend, and I use that loosely, excitedly offers a burrito recipe that calls for potatoes, do not -- DO NOT -- reply, "That's just stupid." It will end the relationship.

 

And you know this... how?

 

<------- said those exact words, slappy. And yes, it was the final straw.

 

Was the burrito any good?

 

She walked out of the kitchen as soon as she had entered it and told me about her plans for our burritos. If there's one thing in life I wish I hadn't said, it was that line. I didn't even mean it. I was angry for an array of other things. Months later, after we'd both left that state, I apologized. The cooking lesson still holds: When your GF has an idea for dinnner, and her eyes sparkle as she tells it, don't crush her spirits with verbal stupidity.

 

Boy, I made a rookie mistake today.

NEVER, EVER, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, USE INFERIOR CHARCOAL.

 

Didn't light with the whole can of fluid and now you're missing the eyebrows?