2,880 examples of why raising a daughter is not easy

He'd die before hitting them all.

 

OK, Chett.

 

It's a dare I'll take, as long as you don't tell Mrs. Angola!.

 

Mr. Chamberlain to the white courtesy phone ...

 

For some odd reason that comment reminds me of this joke...

On a farm out in the country lived a man and a woman and
their three sons. Early one morning, the woman awoke, and
while looking out of the window onto to the pasture, she saw
that the family's only cow was lying dead in the field. The
situation looked hopeless to her -- how could she possibly
continue to feed her family now? In a depressed state of
mind, she hung herself. When the man awoke to find his wife
dead, as well as the cow, he too began to see the
hopelessness of the situation, and he shot himself in the
head.

Now the oldest son woke up to discover his parents dead (and
the cow!), and he decided to go down to the river and drown
himself. When he got to the river, he discovered a mermaid
sitting on the bank. She said, "I've seen all and know the
reason for your despair. But if you will have sex with me
five times in a row, I will restore your parents and the cow
to you." The son agreed to try, but after four times, he was
simply unable to satisfy her again. So the mermaid drowned
him in the river.

Next the second oldest son woke up. After discovering what
had happened, he too decided to throw himself into the
river. The mermaid said to him, "If you will have sex with
me ten times in a row, I will make everything right." And
while the son tried his best (seven times!), it was not
enough to satisfy the mermaid, so she drowned him in the
river.

The youngest son woke up and saw his parents dead, the dead
cow in the field, and his brothers gone. He decided that
life was a hopeless prospect, and he went down to the river
to throw himself in. And there he also met the mermaid. "I
have seen all that has happened, and I can make everything
right if you will only have sex with me fifteen times in
row."

The young son replied, "Is that all? Why not twenty times in
a row?"

The mermaid was somewhat taken aback by this request. Then
he said, "Hell, why not twenty-five times in a row?" And
even as she was reluctantly agreeing to his request, he
said, "Why not THIRTY times in a row?"

Finally, she said, "Enough!! Okay, if you will have sex with
me thirty times in a row, then I will bring everybody back
to perfect health."

Then the young son asked, "Wait! How do I know that thirty
times in a row won't kill you like it did the cow?"

 

As the great Fields once said, "Drown in a vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?"

 

How disgusting!

And it took clicking through all 160 pages to realize that.

 

I wonder what their moms look like? Youngest Editude has always been the "good girl," and I used to be bothered by the implied negative tone in that label. But, to some groups of college girls, it's still cool to keep your clothes on in front of a cell phone. Girls partied and slept around in college 20 years ago, but the slut-o-meter wasn't always on.

 

My brother just turned 21 and his cellphone is loaded with pictures like these from parties he's been to. I have no idea where he's finding these girls.

 

Wonder how many are his?

 

Liar! You went thru the 160 pages twice.