2006 SJ.COM AWARDS -- Nominations due by Christmas

Bubbler · Nov 30, 2006

Birdscribe said:

Oz said:

Jones said:

sportschick said:

If Buck does not win poster of the year, there is something wrong with the world.
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I'm afraid that Buck, like Ace, is that rare bird: the longtime, short-named, entirely underrated poster.
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Speaking of longtime, short-named, entirely underrated posters
... no awards, no first-team selections, no honorable mentions to my name. And that's fine, I know my place.
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Join the crowd, Oz. We're just the Tim Salmons/Hideki Matsuis of the world. Hard-working, underrated, yeoman posters who make everyone around us look and post better.

Consider this a vote for Bubbler for Member O' the Year. One day, if I take my ginko and study hard, I hope to post as well as he does.

My post-O'-year vote goes to that one thread about time-management drones at work. One member -- name of which escapes me -- scribed the funniest post I've read on this site on that thread: the one chronicling every moment of his day, complete with references to "masturbating like a zoo monkey" at the new girl in the office.
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I remember that thread, I believe that was writing_irish's debut post, as auspicious a debut as I've seen.

He's the leader in my clubhouse for newbie of the year.

Chi City 81 · Nov 30, 2006

Bubbler said:

Birdscribe said:

Oz said:

Jones said:

sportschick said:

If Buck does not win poster of the year, there is something wrong with the world.
Click to expand...

I'm afraid that Buck, like Ace, is that rare bird: the longtime, short-named, entirely underrated poster.
Click to expand...

Speaking of longtime, short-named, entirely underrated posters
... no awards, no first-team selections, no honorable mentions to my name. And that's fine, I know my place.
Click to expand...

Join the crowd, Oz. We're just the Tim Salmons/Hideki Matsuis of the world. Hard-working, underrated, yeoman posters who make everyone around us look and post better.

Consider this a vote for Bubbler for Member O' the Year. One day, if I take my ginko and study hard, I hope to post as well as he does.

My post-O'-year vote goes to that one thread about time-management drones at work. One member -- name of which escapes me -- scribed the funniest post I've read on this site on that thread: the one chronicling every moment of his day, complete with references to "masturbating like a zoo monkey" at the new girl in the office.
Click to expand...

I remember that thread, I believe that was writing_irish's debut post, as auspicious a debut as I've seen.

He's the leader in my clubhouse for newbie of the year.
Click to expand...

Mine, too. He'll get my vote. I'll be happy with All-Newbie team.

Chi City 81 · Nov 30, 2006

New candidate for Post of the Year (I'd forgotten about this one):

writing irish said:

To: Disembodied Voice of Authority
From: a worker

Dear Sir:

In response to the new policies outlined above, I must ask that you please nuzzle my perineum. In case you've forgotten your freshman-year-of-college human anatomy, the perineum is the soft, fuzzy area between my nutsack and my Curt Schilling (anus). I would request that you nuzzle this area, not out of any sense of obligation or duty, but instead, with a sincere affection and gentleness approaching reverence. I can assure you that my personal hygiene practices are de rigeur and that said area is as clean as any perineum can be expected to be, given, of course, the slightly sweaty conditions caused by the summer weather. I exhort you to breathe in the musky aroma and let it permeate your palate as if you were a connoisseur of the finest brandy. You may administer little kisses if you are so inspired, but don't be presumptuous or try anything forward. Your mission is essentially one of nuzzling. Nuzzle away, snoogums. If you wish to be exempted from said nuzzling duties, I'll need a written notice from your physician, mental health care provider, dentist, art therapist, interior decorator, golf buddies, spouse, lover(s), auto maintenance technician and mommy to such effect. All written notices must be notarized, sanitized, digitized, translated into Farsi and Old Church Slavonic, gilded, cuddled and signed by Marlon Brando; Tipper Gore; Bobby, Dennis and Brett Hull; the Pope; the Phillie Phanatic; Phillip Roth; Erica Jong; the Surgeon General of the United States and Kinky Friedman. I anticipate said nuzzling at your earliest possible convenience.

love,
a loyal worker
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Birdscribe · Nov 30, 2006

The Good Doctor said:

New candidate for Post of the Year (I'd forgotten about this one):

writing irish said:

To: Disembodied Voice of Authority
From: a worker

Dear Sir:

In response to the new policies outlined above, I must ask that you please nuzzle my perineum. In case you've forgotten your freshman-year-of-college human anatomy, the perineum is the soft, fuzzy area between my nutsack and my Curt Schilling (anus). I would request that you nuzzle this area, not out of any sense of obligation or duty, but instead, with a sincere affection and gentleness approaching reverence. I can assure you that my personal hygiene practices are de rigeur and that said area is as clean as any perineum can be expected to be, given, of course, the slightly sweaty conditions caused by the summer weather. I exhort you to breathe in the musky aroma and let it permeate your palate as if you were a connoisseur of the finest brandy. You may administer little kisses if you are so inspired, but don't be presumptuous or try anything forward. Your mission is essentially one of nuzzling. Nuzzle away, snoogums. If you wish to be exempted from said nuzzling duties, I'll need a written notice from your physician, mental health care provider, dentist, art therapist, interior decorator, golf buddies, spouse, lover(s), auto maintenance technician and mommy to such effect. All written notices must be notarized, sanitized, digitized, translated into Farsi and Old Church Slavonic, gilded, cuddled and signed by Marlon Brando; Tipper Gore; Bobby, Dennis and Brett Hull; the Pope; the Phillie Phanatic; Phillip Roth; Erica Jong; the Surgeon General of the United States and Kinky Friedman. I anticipate said nuzzling at your earliest possible convenience.

love,
a loyal worker
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Great post... but that wasn't the one I'm referring to here.

farmerjerome · Nov 30, 2006

Without fishing through all 13 pages, the Charlie Brown thread should be up for consideration.

Since I didn't have time to go through everything, is it fair game yet?

Sam Mills 51 · Nov 30, 2006

Is there a category for biggest nametag? (/inside Toronto joke) ;D

dooley_womack1 · Nov 30, 2006

Or best nipplelick?

Chi City 81 · Nov 30, 2006

Another nominee for Thread of the Year:

http://www.sportsjournalists.com/forum/threads/30143/

dooley_womack1 · Nov 30, 2006

I think the winner of Troll of the Year should get the Pathetitard Twatwaffle Trophy.

Chuck~Taylor · Nov 30, 2006

The Good Doctor said:

Another nominee for Thread of the Year:

http://www.sportsjournalists.com/forum/threads/30143/
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Check out page 3:
IJAGammit, people, he just wants our opions

Sneakersk. here's one:
mike vanderjagt will suck.

Cockdian:your out of your mind if you think that

Yawn · Dec 1, 2006

If the ignorant folk from the Jackass Party who come along behind me with their do not feed warnings don't vote for me, they should have to swallow a lifetime supply of shutthefuckup.

MertWindu · Dec 1, 2006

Yawn said:

If the ignorant folk from the Jackass Party who come along behind me with their do not feed warnings don't vote for me, they should have to swallow a lifetime supply of shutthefuckup.
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So funny it COULDN'T BE CONTAINED ON JUST ONE THREAD!!!!

Yawn wins it, fuck this, no contest. Sorry, but the other trolls don't try nearly as hard.

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2006 SJ.COM AWARDS -- Nominations due by Christmas

Bubbler Well-Known Member

Chi City 81 Guest

Chi City 81 Guest

Birdscribe Active Member

farmerjerome Active Member

Sam Mills 51 Well-Known Member

dooley_womack1 Well-Known Member

Chi City 81 Guest

dooley_womack1 Well-Known Member

Chuck~Taylor Active Member

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2006 SJ.COM AWARDS -- Nominations due by Christmas

Bubbler Well-Known Member

Chi City 81 Guest

Chi City 81 Guest

Birdscribe Active Member

farmerjerome Active Member

Sam Mills 51 Well-Known Member

dooley_womack1 Well-Known Member

Chi City 81 Guest

dooley_womack1 Well-Known Member

Chuck~Taylor Active Member

Yawn New Member

MertWindu Active Member

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