2012 Pro Wrestling Thread

Way to continue the funeral of Zach Ryder.

This guy had so much going for him. Now this.

 

And then a fake Jesse Sorensen moment to put a big ol' bow on it.

Friendzoning a guy in a wheelchair on the day before Valentine's Day, then push him off the stage? Are you serious, bro?

God help me, I laughed when the crowd groaned at the wanna be friends line.

 

I laughed when the crowd started chanting "We hate you" clap clap clapclapclap.

 

Nice bump by Ryder. Stage isn't as high as it used to be, but considering he was getting thrown off in a wheelchair, pretty good job.

And I have a feeling we're about to see the fans totally shit on Eve, like they did Lita, forcing her to turn heel.

And I do find this ambulance match somewhat intriguing now. I figured Cena would win, that'd be the end of it, and then he'd focus on Rock. But Kane said that Cena was going to disappear until WM, and now you have a pissed-off Ryder who may end up interfering, and end up costing Cena the match.

Then Cena disappears for two months, giving the match one of the strangest build-ups in history (one guy gone for 2 months, the other guy only appearing on videos), then comes back "embracing the hate" as a total heel against Rock.

Or, I'm just totally overthinking this. Cena wins, Ryder challenges him for the next month, Cena destroys him permanently, teaching the fans that they should never get behind a guy who the writers don't want them to get behind, then have a shitty buildup to WM with an opponent who appears mostly on video, the buyrate sucks and, as champions, Bryan and Punk get blamed for it and end up getting squashed in three minutes each by July.

 

Let me preface what I'm about to say with the following:

This Kane-Cena storyline is a slam dunk for 2012 Wrestlecrap Feud of the Year. It's just been horrible. Brutal. Just plain silly. They built up Ryder, then turned him to a brainless jobber who takes advice from Santino. They put Eve in an impossible position. And Cena just looks like a tool.

That being said, I had no problem with any of it tonight only because it was so bad it was freaking hilarious. I laughed at the "I just wanna be friends" line. I laughed until I cried when Kane wagged his finger and claimed to have a moral compass. And dropping Ryder off the stage? That was a cool bump.

The HBK-HHH promo was a five-star virtuoso, one they should have saved until the final segment. Kofi actually got built up a little (long overdue if you ask me). But other than that?

What the hell is going on in creative? This is some brutal stuff.

 

This whole thing is so atrociously bad it's comical. I was laughing, but wasn't sure if I should be doing that or repeatedly punching myself in the head until I thought it was good.
At least Eve was looking frisky, though. Nice little dimeslot thing going on when she was kneeling over Ryder's battered corpse, and she was absolutely bursting out of her top. And she's a slut now, so she's got that goin' for her.
Next week: Kane breaks out a flamethrower and sets Zach Ryder on fire, rakes up the ashes, drives the ambulance to the Grand Canyon, scatters them to the wind and shoots a promo video saying, "Cena! What the hell, man!? You embracing hate yet? What the hell is wrong with you, bro!?"

 

One more thought on this mess. Did it look to anyone else like Ryder might have legitimately fucked up his legs with that fall? If you watch, they bend and bang a little awkwardly when he hits the ground. He wasn't screaming, so I'll assume he's either fine or a better actor than anything he's shown so far in this feud.

 

The post-debate beatdown Kofi put on Jericho reminded me of Ralphie going all sickhouse on Fargus' ass in "A Christmas Story."

 

At least Eve is going to get a reaction ... finally. So far, she's only been able to do that with repeated booty pops.

 

I noticed that as well. But like you said, he wasn't screaming or anything so maybe he's OK.

 

If Ryder got legitimately hurt in this angle, I'm booing John Cena forever.

I won't boo the Make-a-Wish promos. Because, like Kane, there are things even I won't do.

But any other time ...