2012 Pro Wrestling Thread

Great read.

 

-John Cena vs. The Rock
Winner: John Cena beats The Rock via pin.

Hell in a Cell Match:
-The Undertaker vs. Triple H. Shawn Michaels will serve as the special guest referee of the match.
Winner: The Undertaker beats Triple H via pin.

WWE Championship Match:
-CM Punk (c) vs. Chris Jericho
Winner: Chris Jericho beats CM Punk via pin.

WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match:
-Daniel Bryan (c) vs. Sheamus
Winner: Sheamus beats Daniel Bryan by pin.

WWE Intercontinental Title Match:
-Cody Rhodes (c) vs. Big Show
Winner:

-Randy Orton vs. Kane
Winner: Randy Orton beats Kane by pin.

12 Man Tag Team Match For Control of Raw and Smackdown:
-Team Laurinaitis vs Team Long
Winner: Team Laurinaitis beats Team Long via pin.

Divas Tag Team Match:
-Kelly Kelly and Maria Menounos vs. Beth Phoenix and Eve Torres
Winner: Kelly Kelly and Maria Menounos beats Beth Phoenix and Eve Torres by pin.

Other Predictions
--------------------
Opening Match — 12-man tag
Final Match — John Cena vs. The Rock
Penultimate Match — Randy Orton vs. Kane
Longest Match — Hell in a Cell
Shortest Match — Divas
Highest Star Rating — Jericho vs. Punk
Lowest Star Rating — Divas

Longest Match — Hell in a Cell (27:30)

 

Sure sign the apocalypse is upon us: Betting lines have been posted for WM.

http://sports.bovada.lv/sports-betting/wrestling.jsp

 

John Cena vs. The Rock
Cena by pin in 19:00. No turns by either. This is the final match.

Hell in a Cell Match:
The Undertaker vs. Triple H. Shawn Michaels will serve as the special guest referee of the match.
Taker by pinfall after some shenanigans by Michaels in 25:00. Triple H, furious that HBK cost him the match, nails HBK with the Pedigree to set up their year-long feud for next year's Mania.

WWE Championship Match:
CM Punk (c) vs. Chris Jericho
Punk retains by submission in 18:45. This will be the highest rated match.

WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match:
Daniel Bryan (c) vs. Sheamus
Sheamus wins after Bryan gets himself caught trying to hide behind A.J. Match ends after 14:30.

WWE Intercontinental Title Match:
Cody Rhodes (c) vs. Big Show
Rhodes retains after getting himself DQ'd. Match lasts 15:00.

Randy Orton vs. Kane
Kane wins by pin in 10 minutes.

12 Man Tag Team Match For Control of Raw and Smackdown:
Team Laurinaitis vs Team Long
Team Johnny wins when Miz pins Santino after 18 minutes.

Divas Tag Team Match:
Kelly Kelly and Maria Menounos vs. Beth Phoenix and Eve Torres
Kelly Kelly and Maria win by pin after 3 minutes. Will be first, shortest and lowest rated match of the night.

 

This was a good read, too, from The Atlantic of all spots you'd never expect to read about pro wrestling: http://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2012/03/at-wrestlemania-xxviii-will-there-be-blood/255217/

 

One of the PW Torch columns I look forward to each week is "Alphabet Soup." It's a simple, but great gimmick. The guy reviews Raw and Smackdown (in a humorous way) by coming up with a comment for each letter of the alphabet.
Loved this bit from his Smackdown column this week, regarding the 12-man tag match. Pretty funny, and it really sums up pro wrestling itself:

 

-John Cena vs. The Rock: Cena wins via submission as Rock taps to the STF in an epic match that lives up the year-long build. This is, obviously, the final match of the night and it only goes 30 minutes in the ring but takes up most of the last hour with intros, entrances, match and post-bell hand shakes. This bout gets the highest star rating of the night but not by much as Punk/Jericho and the HITC both live up to the Mania stage. Crowd is surprisingly pro-Cena but, as the match goes on, roots openly for both guys. This is basically a repeat of WM18.

WWE Championship Match:
-CM Punk (c) vs. Chris Jericho. This is the penultimate match. Punk wins by pinfall, retaining the title. This match goes 25 minutes and is, easily, the best pure wrestling bout of the night. I worry about the story these guys tell here as the buildup has been shit but we should see some interesting things here.

12 Man Tag Team Match For Control of Raw and Smackdown:
-Team Laurinaitis vs Team Long. Team Lauinatis wins as Miz pins Santino with the skull-crushing finale. This match goes 10 minutes but feels like it’s 50 because it’s going to be god awful. This match sets the stage, long term, for a Miz face turn but not tonight.

Hell in a Cell Match:
-The Undertaker vs. Triple H. This is the longest match of the night and goes 35 minutes. Undertaker wins in a bloodbath. HBK plays it straight but still counts HHH’s shoulders down, setting up the bout between the two next year. After the bout, Taker stands in the ring long after HHH and HBK take off, admiring 20-0 and announces his retirement … only for Brock Lesnar to come out, tell him he’s not done yet, F-5 him and say “See you in Jersey”. Oh, and Taker’s hair is completely gone. He looks like a scary fucker. (Do I get extra points for that?)

WWE Intercontinental Title Match:
-Cody Rhodes (c) vs. Big Show. Cody Rhodes wins by forcing Big Show to snap so bad he gets DQed. Probably a 17 minute match. Longterm, it sets Rhodes up to be the next-in-line guy for Goldie. I expect him to feud with Sheamus for the title heading into Summerslam.

Divas Tag Team Match:
-Kelly Kelly and Maria Menounos vs. Beth Phoenix and Eve Torres. This is (thankfully) the shortest match. Kelly Kell and Maria Menounos wins as Menounos rolls up Eve Torres for the 1-2-3. Bout lasts six minutes flat. Easily the lowest star rating of the night.

-Randy Orton vs. Kane. The second match, this just gets brutal. I’m going to take Orton here via pinfall RKO finish. This will be a 15 minute-long bout long forgotten an hour later.

WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match:
-Daniel Bryan (c) vs. Sheamus. This is the opening match. It lasts 22 minutes, bell to bell, with Daniel Bryan retaining by pinfall and an assist by AJ.

 

I'm pretty excited for this card. And, gasp, so is my dad, who has never paid much attention to wrestling. He'd sit down with me and we'd watch back in high school. 1998. The glory days of Austin 3:16, The Rock, and Goldberg. He hasn't watched since, but now he's seriously into Rock-Cena. So much that he put down the $65 to watch it. (We'd watch together, but I'm in Idaho and he's in Alabama.)

So, may not be much to y'all, but I'm shocked. The E must be doing something right. I wonder how high the buy rates will be.

 

Reportedly, a major signing for the WWE, and someone who may have an impact on tonight's card:


Brock Lesnar

 

-John Cena vs. The Rock
Winner: Cena. I just don't see how the WWE can justify putting the Rock over Cena here. I'd love to see some sort of heel turn but I don't see it. Cena by pinfall after a long match.

Hell in a Cell Match:
-The Undertaker vs. Triple H. Shawn Michaels will serve as the special guest referee of the match.
Winner: Taker. No way his streak ends. HBK calls it straight but something happens that makes Trips think HBK did something nefarious to set up a match for next year's Mania.

WWE Championship Match:
-CM Punk (c) vs. Chris Jericho
Winner: Punk gets the win in what will certainly be the best wrestled match of the night but as far as storytelling, it won't be anywhere near the two matches above this.

WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match:
-Daniel Bryan (c) vs. Sheamus
Winner: Sheamus becomes the new champion via pinfall. AJ will be involved somehow but it will backfire on Bryan and he will blame her for everything when he loses.

WWE Intercontinental Title Match:
-Cody Rhodes (c) vs. Big Show
Winner: This one is tough to decide. I think the WWE is ready to push Cody to the next level so taking the strap off him makes sense but it also could be seen as a setback. I'm gonna say Rhodes wins it with some sort of interference or at least a foreign object. The WWE has had no problem allowing Rhodes to make Show look bad with the promos leading up to Mania so I doubt it has a problem allowing him to lose again.

-Randy Orton vs. Kane
Winner: I really like Kane since his return but he's clearly just the big monster they use to put other guys over and hold places until those guys get pushed back into title contention. I'd like to see the opposite and have Kane in the title picture but it will be Orton winning here on his way to getting back in the mix one way or another. Orton hits RKO, wins by pinfall. Standard stuff.

12 Man Tag Team Match For Control of Raw and Smackdown:
-Team Laurinaitis vs Team Long
Winner: What really needs to happen here is something that results with Kofi and Ziggler as the final two and they get some time to put on a bit of a show. I really think both deserve a big push but it doesn't seem to be in the cards. I'd like Miz to get the same. I do think Miz gets some juice out of this one way or another but I think it's ultimately Henry getting the pin. He remains the most viable monster heel in the title ranks and I think he gets the bump out of this.

Divas Tag Team Match:
-Kelly Kelly and Maria Menounos vs. Beth Phoenix and Eve Torres
Winner: Who cares? I guess for the sake of this exercise I have to pick someone: I'll take Phoenix and Torres by pinfall.

Other Predictions
--------------------
Opening Match — Kane vs. Orton
Final Match — John Cena vs. The Rock
Penultimate Match — Rhodes vs. Big Show
Longest Match — Hell in a Cell (29.35)
Shortest Match — Divas
Highest Star Rating — Jericho vs. Punk
Lowest Star Rating — Divas

 

My other predictions for WM:

Opening match: 12-Man
Final match: Rock/Cena
Penultimate match: Hell in the Cell
Longest match: Hell in the Cell
Shortest match: Divas
Highest star: Jericho/Punk
Lowest star: Divas

 

John Cena vs. Dwayne:
Cena in 21:33,. Makes little sense to me as to how it could be otherwise, considering Dwayne is a part-timer who's probably gone after Monday. No heel turn, but the door probably opens for next's year's WM duel main event if a certain person gets involved afterwards.

HHH vs. The Undertaker
'Taker retains after a 32:00 classic. HBK reluctantly counts the pin after trying to help Trips, which sets the stage for the final chapter for all three next year.

WWE Title: CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho
Will be a great match that makes up for the underwhelming storyline leading in. I don't think it will be the Savage/Steamboat to Cena/Duane's Hogan/Andre, but Jericho gets a clean pin at 17:48 and wins the belt.

WWE Heavyweight Title: Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan
Sheamus in 12:33. AJ interferes, leading to the decisive pin and the eventual face turn (that no one will care about) for AJ. I'll spot the match a 1/2 star if AJ comes out in the little black dress she was in a few weeks ago. Yum.

WWE Intercontinental Title: Cody Rhodes vs. Big Show
This is Rhodes' opportunity to continue his push toward reaching the top tier. He's clearly been one of my favorite wrestlers to watch over the last 18 months or so, but somehow, I can see WWE giving Show the win just to keep him from becoming the Buffalo Bills of WM. Still....Rhodes (dirty yet effective) in 13:10.

Randy Orton vs. Kane
This would be a good time for pushing Orton back to the heel role he's made for. If they were going to have someone Embrace the Hate, Orton's the perfect man for it. I think this will be a far better match than advertised, with Kane getting the pin in 12:15.

Team Teddy vs. Team Johnny
Gets spotted a 1/2 star if Mark Henry squashes Hornswoggle and rids him adieu once and for all. If anyone needs the bump here, it's Miz, who is sliding ever so closer to curtain jerking status. I'd rather see Johnny Ace than Long getting four hours of a week of abusing the word 'Playa,' so give me Miz pinning Booker T at 11:46 of this useless clusterfuck.

Divas Match
Heels over Faces in 5:10 of a match begging for wardrobe malfunction.

Other Picks:
Opening Match: Sheamus/Bryan
Final Match: HHH/'Taker
Penultimate Match: Cena/Dwayne
Longest Match: HHH/'Taker
Shortest Match: Divas
Highest Star: 'HHH/Taker
Lowest: Team Teddy vs. Team Johnny