2014 Pro Wrestling Thread

My one complaint is that the old time cards are a bit lacking. I've never seen Hogan's win over the Iron Sheik for the title, and figured they'd have a moment like that up there early on. Not yet. Same with some of the other milestone title changes, like Graham, Backlund and the Iron Sheik winning.
So many other shows from the last 20 years are there, though, that it's hard to gripe.

 

Love the Network so far. Hope that as it grows they really take things deeper. I'd love it if you could have search function for certain guys and then sort through their various rivalries. How cool would it be if you could put in Undertaker's name and then have a bunch of feuds pop up and be able to watch through entire story lines including old shows like Saturday Superstars, etc.? I wonder if they'll ever take it that deep but I'd love to see it. It's fun watching the old PPVs but it'd be better if you could see all the in between parts too so you know why some of these matches are taking place.

 

And they've changed Adam Rose's theme song. Recent version of NXT has definite changes on it and I'm not liking it nearly as much as the first one.

 

I really hope they can secure the rights to the song. It's damn good.

 

WCW SuperBrawl 1999

The show opens with a then-unknown Torrie Wilson sitting on a hotel bed, wrapped in a bed sheet. We're not sure who she's talking to because this is filmed as first-person POV (I feel like I'm reviewing a porno). On the bed to her left is the stun stick we first saw back at Starrcade 1998, the stun stick that took down the mighty Goldberg. Torrie asks her unseen partner why he's so pale, then says she didn't mean to hurt him. I take it the sex got a little too kinky when the stun stick was introduced (oh my god, I am reviewing a porno). Anonymous camera man, who I'll call Mr. Brazzers from this point on, hands Torrie an envelope. She opens it and pulls out a pair of tickets.

"You're taking me to SuperBrawl?"

An actress of a higher caliber would have convinced us that tickets to SuperBrawl might as well be a necklace from Jane Seymour's Open Hearts collection. Instead, Torrie looks as if she regrets not having Mr. Brazzers wear a rubber because there's an off chance she will now reproduce just as big a loser as Mr. Brazzers, who presented her SuperBrawl tickets after wild sex.

Torrie then gets up, sheet still wrapped around her, and heads to the bathroom to clean up and go shopping. She needs a new outfit for SuperBrawl.

At this point, who gives a shit about the next two hours and forty-five minutes? Just a bunch of matches. Of note: Rey Mysterio is forced to unmask and reveal himself to be a 14-year-old. Also, the banter between Tony Schiavone and Bobby Hennan starts its turn from playful to hateful.

Anyway, late in the WCW World Heavyweight Championship match between Hollywood Hogan and Ric Flair, Torrie shows up in a stunning red dress. A man in a black leather jacket and ski mask then comes to the ring and uses the stun stick on Flair. Hogan retains the title. Torrie nearly falls over the middle rope as she enters the ring with the masked man. Torrie unmasks the anonymous assailant to reveal ... DAVID FLAIR WTF OMG LOL!!!1!

And thus we know that Torrie took a ride on Space ... Hill? Space Mound? Space Dune? ... and that David Flair likes being electrocuted during coitus.

 

Nothing really fabulous of note happens until The Great American Bash 1999, but the Bash does not disappoint for sheer absurdity.

Late in the Rick Steiner vs. Sting match (as Rick turned heel to re-align with his brother Scott), the two scuffle to the back. Tank Abbot (remember him? me neither) attacks Sting from behind as Scott releases three vicious dogs upon Sting. One dog jumps on Sting, wagging his tail and practically licking his face, while the second dog sniffs the first dog's ass. Lil' ass sniffer remembers he's on camera and doing a paid job, so he quickly regroups to start ripping Stings knee pads off with his teeth. Before Big Poppa Pump releases a third dog, the camera cuts away as Doug Dillinger and twenty security guards rush to Sting's aid.

Oh, and Piper de-pants Flair during an earlier match, so the Nature Boy shows how white his flabby ass is compared to his un-natural tan.

 

Tank Abbott was a guy who, I think, was an early UFC or Toughman name. They brought him in, gave him a really big build, and had him unbeaten for a while. Then he was squashed by Goldberg, and spent the rest of his time as a 3-Count mascot.

 

So just like Umaga or Koslov was built up, only to be jobbed to SuperCena ... guess wrestling hasn't changed that much at all. Rusev better hope Cena is gone within six months.

 

So apparently Scooby Doo will be appearing tonight in costume form. I'd love to see Triple H bring Scooby out, shill their joint movie and have Scooby deliver a running knee and then point skyward for a Yes chant.

 

I demand Scooby Doo vs. Dragon Dragon

 

This Hogan/Arnold/Other Guy scene is painful.

Never thought I'd say this, but thank God for Miz.

 

This has been an absolutely shitty show.